Baby's Journey Home

TC: September Update

2011-09-07T18:25:00.003-04:00

School is finally back in, and our family is starting to get back into a routine...sort of!! I feel like we've been so busy, I haven't had the time to blog. In the next several days, I am planning to get our "Todd's Closet" email newsletter put together. For now, it will probably only be sent out every other month. If you would like to receive our newsletter, make sure you leave a comment with your email address, and I would be glad to add you to the list.

Just to give a brief update...we are still in need of storage! We are praying for just the right location, and for God to open doors of opportunity! We would like to find some place in the Mercersburg area, whether it be a small apartment, store front, storage unit...we are keeping our options open. For the most part, everything else is pretty much the same. We are always accepting donations of household cleaning, personal hygiene, and baby care items!!

So far, we have had to opportunity to work with one family in our area, and currently we are in the process of getting connected with another couple as well.

~Jerri

Not just another food pantry

2011-08-15T13:49:00.002-04:00

Well, as of July 2011, Todd's Closet is officially up & running, exactly 3 years after we found out that Baby Todd was sick. We are starting to take donations for Todd's Closet. If you would like to help out, please click on the Wish List tab above to get a current list of needed items.

If you are here and want to know more about Todd's Closet and how or why we got started, you can click on the Todd's Closet tab above.

I wanted to take a minute and share a little bit about the vision for Todd's Closet. I know some of you probably read our background story and are completely on board. Or, maybe you've been following Todd's story for the last three years and feel the need to support our family for other reasons. For which ever reason you are here, I'm so very glad you are! The following paragraph is an excerpt from a article I have written, that will be featured in a local publication next month. I wanted to share it here too...just to give you an idea of what our purpose and goal is for Todd's Closet.

As for the future of Todd's Closet, I would like to see it grow to become more than just another food & toiletry bank. With people and their needs constantly changing, it is hard to say exactly what Todd's Closet will look like. However, our prayer is that it would be a ministry based on building relationships, and truely being the 'hands and feet' of Jesus.

A very big THANK YOU to every one that has supported our family over the last 3 years and encouraged us to keep going!

We're still here!

2011-02-23T13:42:00.003-05:00

I started blogging here. I wanted to continue blogging, however, I also want to keep Baby Todd's story seperate. SO, if you want to catch up on all that we have been doing...PLEASE check it out! However, If you are here and want to read Todd's story...you can! Click on the 2008 Posts in our archive list on the right of the blog.

Snow Day

2011-01-27T08:53:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was a snow day for most of the school students in our area. We didn't get much snow, but it was enough to make everything messy & the roads a bit dangerous. Kylei & Kadenn spent most of the day outside.

The poor guy looks sad, doesn't he?!

I guess I would be sad too, if I had a dog dish for a hat & was missing my nose!

It was a fun day for the girls, they had a blast playing outside. I, on the other hand, haven't been outside since Tuesday. I am much happier inside where it is warm!

5 months **Updated with picture

2011-01-19T11:46:00.004-05:00

Paisley is now 5 months old!
I have been taking a picture of her on the 18th of every month...for her scrapbook. Since I am with her all day (every day), I don't seem to notice the changes she is making. So, I enjoy looking at the pictures of her to compare from month to month.
I don't have one for 5 months yet...I know, I'm slacking! However, yesterday...the girl was just a mess! Dirty, that is. And, as of now, she is napping. So I'll add a picture later!

Some of Paisley's recent accomplishments...

Rolling over is a thing of the past!

She can get her self up on 'all fours'...but then doesn't know what to do after that! So, maybe we'll be crawling soon?

Loves to sit in her walker & watch cartoons. Oh, and she knows how to push her self backwards in it.

LOVES to eat! She is doing very well with baby cereal & food. Unfortunately, she does not have her Mama's love of sweet potatoes. :(

She sleeps any where from 8-12 hours at night. No, I do not make that up! We usually put her to bed around 8pm and she will sleep til 5am or after!

I'll be back with pictures soon!!

Today she is 8!

2011-01-06T07:24:00.004-05:00

Happy Birthday!!

On this day, 8 years ago, we celebrated the birth of Kadenn Alisa!

Today, we celebrate a spunky, daring, compassionate, entertaining ball of laughter & hugs! She is definitely our ray of sunshine!

Happy Birthday...love you Kadenn! (more than all the stars in the sky!)

RMH of Delaware!

2011-01-03T16:55:00.006-05:00

Once again, we had the opportunity to volunteer at the RMH of Delaware. Yesterday: Sunday January 2, we prepared breakfast for the families staying at the house. It was such a blessing to be able to 'give back' to an organization that does so much.

We were very fortunate to have some friends with us for the day...Thanks a ton Mike & Stacy!!

Kadenn & Kylei check out the buckets of Soda Tabs. The RMH collects soda tabs as a means to raising funds for the house. Don't underestimate the power of a small piece of metal. The tabs can quickly add up!

After we finished up at the RMH, we went in to Philadelphia and spent some time at Penn's Landing. There wasn't much going on since it was a sunday afternoon right after a holiday. But we did get to tour the Seaport Museum and an old military ship and submarine. Not exactly what I had in mind for the afternoon, but, it was quite interesting. And, at least now I can say I was in a submarine.

In Loving Memory...

2010-12-29T14:58:00.003-05:00

Todd Heston Martin

born: December 5, 2008

died: December 29, 2008

I can hardly believe that two years have passed since we celebrated the life and death of Baby Todd. Everyone who has ever experienced the loss of a loved one will say that those anniversaries get easier with each passing year. While I tend to agree and believe that one day it will get easier; I'm not completely there yet. My heart still hurts a little, and I miss him more than anyone could ever know.

We love and miss you Baby Todd...and look forward to the day when we will see you again!

4 Months!

2010-12-21T10:09:00.004-05:00

Paisley turned 4 months old this past Saturday, the 18th. We spent the day with Dustin's family to celebrate Christmas. I will post about that later.

Anyway...Paisley had her 4 month check up with the pediatrician this past Monday. As always, it went well, and the Doctor was very pleased with her. I was completely surprised by her weight...only 14 pounds 2 ounces. I was expecting her to weigh more than that. She did very good with her shots as well. Only a few tears were shed this time around!

**All ready to go see the Pediatrician!!

As of Monday December 20th, Paisley

weight: 14 lbs 2 ozs.

height: 25 in.

Paisley has also mastered the art of rolling over. She has rolled over before, but not consistantly or intentionally. We have had fun watching her roll. She gets excited & giggles every time as if it's her first time all over again! She is playing with toys more and more, and is able to recognize her baby doll.

We have started feeding her cereal...with a spoon. She is enjoying the cereal, but not the spoon so much. She tries to slurp the cereal from the spoon, which is quite cute! I think she would rather continue with the bottle, it's much faster! She doesn't like anything getting between her & her food.

It has been such a blessing to have Paisley in our family. We are enjoying every minute with her, and are looking forward to celebrating her first Christmas!

Happy 2nd Birthday!

2010-12-05T13:00:00.006-05:00

Today we celebrate Todd's 2nd birthday...not with cards, gifts or cake...but with 24 balloons & lots of memories.

Todd...on his Birthday - December 5. 2008

This morning, we released 24 balloons in memory of Baby Todd. One balloon to represent each precious day we were blessed to spend with him. Tags were attached to each balloon, in hopes that they would eventually be found.

I was praying for clear skies for our balloon release. However when I woke up this morning the clouds were thick and low, with snow flurries, very similiar to the weather last year on Todd's birthday.

If you found one of Todd's balloons please leave a comment here on the blog. We would like to hear where all the balloons were found.

If this is your first time visiting the blog, feel free to go back and read previous posts to get Todd's complete story.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY TODD!!

For more pictures from our balloon release, click HERE!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T11:06:00.002-05:00

The turkey is in the oven, the sweet potatoes are mashed, and the bread dough is rising. The Parade is on in the living room, and much to Dustin's dismay...the Christmas music is playing in the kitchen. Yes, I know I am going all out for 4 people, and our families are getting together on Saturday. And, really I wouldn't have to do this. BUT...there is just something special about having a turkey in the oven on Thanksgiving day. Oh how I love the sounds and smells of the Holiday. Especially Thanksgiving.

This is my favorite time of year...Fall & Thanksgiving. However, I almost despise the holiday as well. It seems that Thanksgiving and Christmas have become such "materialistic" days, that we lose sight of what the days truely represent. I have already lost count of how many times I've heard Kadenn say "I'm bored". She desperately wanted me to entertain her. She couldn't sit still long enough to watch the parade. I guess that just goes to show that we have so much and do so much. When we have time to sit and relax and appreciate our blessings...we don't know how. It made me a bit sad. I gave her a project, and asked her to list 7 things she is thankful for(since she's 7 years old). We are all going to share our lists with each other at lunch.

Here are a few things I'm thankful for today (and everyday!!)

My family
My children & husband
My Faith in Jesus Christ!
Church family
A warm home
safety and good health
reliable vehicles
Dustin's job

...and the list goes on!

Blessings to you all this holiday season!

3 months!

2010-11-18T20:12:00.003-05:00

Paisley is officially 3 months old

...and is growing and changing by leaps and bounds.

She doesn't see the doctor for another month, so I don't have her official measurements...but, I am certain she has gained 3 or 4 pounds! She is now starting to wear some 3-6 month size clothes; which really saddens me to see the stack of 'outgrown' clothes getting bigger and bigger.

Paisley loves to lay on the floor to play and kick. She is working so hard at rolling over, but hasn't quite made it yet. She also has figured out she has a tongue...which just adds to the crazy amounts of drool.

Sleep: As of the last week or so, she has started going to bed between 7:30 and 8pm. (If we're home...) Typically she'll sleep til 6am. I know...still can't believe that my self. She hasn't been napping much through out the day, which makes the long stretch at night much easier.

Good bye 4am!

2010-11-11T10:04:00.004-05:00

My baby is growing...I know, It's inevitable. But, does it have to happen so fast??

As of the last week, Paisley is now sleeping til 6am. So, no more 4am feedings. As much as I enjoy sleeping with out interruption, I truly did enjoy our early morning snuggle time in the recliner.

Oh, and as for that snuggle time...I think it will soon be a thing of the past. We have noticed that the more we try to cuddle & rock Paisley at night, the more she fights going to sleep. On the nights that we feed her & put her to bed, it seems she falls right to sleep.

She did alot of this today...

I know...not too exciting. But I guess today she realized that her fist was good for more than just sucking on.

A new song on the playlist!

2010-11-04T10:57:00.003-04:00

I added a new song to the playlist! If it isn't playing yet, go to the playlist on the side-bar & click on it... "There will be a day" by Jeremy Camp.

Here are the Lyrics...I love these words and pray you gain encouragement from them!

There Will Be A Day

Songwriters: Camp, Jeremy Thomas

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have

But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab

The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth

That we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings

That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears

No more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place

Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

But until that day, we'll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long

You feel you're walking on your own

But there has never been a step

Where you've walked out all alone

Troubled soul don't lose your heart

Cause joy and peace he brings

And the beauty that's in store

Outweighs the hurt of life's sting

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings

That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears

No more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place

Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

But until that day, we'll hold on to you always

I can't wait until that day where the very one

I've lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I've faced

To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery

O, this is why, this is why I sing

There will be a day with no more tears

No more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place

Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day with no more tears

No more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place

Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day he will wipe away the tears

He will wipe away the tears

There will be a day

Ronald McDonald House

2010-11-02T08:51:00.002-04:00

This week, I was able to schedule our visit to the Ronald McDonald House in Delaware. We are looking forward to being able to prepare a meal and visit with some of the guest families.

We will be preparing Breakfast at the House on Sunday January 2, 2011.

Our family will be collecting food & household items to take to the house, to help fill their pantry. If you would like to help in any way, please contact us. Click here for a direct link to the RMH wish list.

2 Months

2010-10-20T15:48:00.005-04:00

It is so hard to believe that Paisley is now 2 months old. Which means that it has been that long since I wrote anything on the blog. Sorry for the lack of update...but in my defense, I've been busy spending all my time with a certain "little one".

Today, October 20th, I took Paisley for her 2 month well child check with the pediatrician. She is growing like a weed! The doctor & nurses absolutely LOVE her, but how could they not, right!? ;o)

*leaving for our visit with the Pediatrician*

She had to get 3 shots...which was expected. Yet, didn't make it any easier to watch her little lip quiver with sadness and pain. She moved on from that pretty quick though, when I scooped her up to cuddle after the nurse was done.

Here are her stats as of her 2 Month appointment:

height: 22.5 inches

weight: 11 lbs 10 ozs

She is now drinking about 6 ozs per feeding & sleeping 6-7 hours at night. We're spoiled, I know! She is easily entertained and loves to laugh & smile.

Happy Birth - Day!!

2010-08-27T12:32:00.005-04:00

Paisley Grace

was born...

on Wednesday August, 18 2010 at 10:18am

weighing in at 8 lbs 2.2 ozs

Let the count down begin!

2010-08-07T14:13:00.004-04:00

Today I hit the 38 week mark!

Everything is going well, in terms of the pregnancy & our health. However, my patience has expired! I am stretched, literally, just about as far as I can handle. My bag is packed, the baby's room is ready, her clothes & blankets have been washed...we're just waiting for her to arive!

The anticipation gets stronger every day...

I did end up having to spend about 2 hours at the hospital yesterday for a Non-stress test. Thanks to a mis-reading of my blood pressure during my Dr visit. But, as we keep telling ourselves...better be safe than sorry. Even though I knew in my gut that nothing was wrong.

After being connected to the monitors for an hour and a half, and having blood work done, it was confirmed that it was just probably a mis-read of my blood pressure. I was told to go home & continue waiting...

So - here I am, at home...waiting!!

This picture is from 2 weeks ago...Dustin's brother got married!

A Husbands Prespective

2010-08-01T17:38:00.008-04:00

Time is nearing on the arrival of our little girl, but first I would like to share some memories.......

After the 'change of our lives', a question was often asked.. "Are you going to have another baby?" We would respond with ''Maybe, if that is Gods plan for us.'' We did want a baby, but we didn't want to try to 'replace' baby brother. So, we left it in Gods hands and here we are expecting.

Then we were asked ''Do you hope its a boy?'' We would say ''We just want a healthy baby." A boy would be nice but might feel like a replacement...A girl would be a great blessing, because they are so beautiful. When we found out 'it' was a girl we were at peace and concider her an addition to the family not a replacement. Now I just hope God provides another bathroom for the house!

About 4-5 months into the pregnacy, we decided we should start to organize the baby's room. This was the 'keep out' room that was full of memories and we would not dare to go into alone. So, Jerri and I started into it a little at a time. This took many days, because we would usually end up laying on the floor talking and crying together as the memories would flow.

One day we were going through the clothes in the dresser and Jerri broke down. I thought she got kicked or something, but then she showed me what she found. Knowing Todd was going to need surgery we were encouged to get shirts that snapped open in the front. The months leading up to the birth of Todd that was our mission. If any of you have shopped for baby clothes before, know that these can be hard to find. We had a drawer full of this special clothing. Finding them hit a very tender spot and the tears began to flow, again.

A couple of weeks later, we were well on our way with the baby's room, I came into the kitchen and Jerri had just came down the stairs. She had tears in her eyes and I knew where she had been, the baby's room. I asked her what she found this time and she said nothing with a tear in her eye. ''What is wrong then'' I asked. She responded with a twinkle I haven't seen in a long time"We are going to get to bring home a baby!" Thats when it hit me...these are tears of joy, not of sorrow...she was ready to move on. The tears began to flow, yet again.

There is always giong to be a tender spot in our hearts that will never be replaced, however by the grace of God there is room for one more.

34 weeks and a mini vacation!

2010-07-13T21:17:00.005-04:00

Friday, was my 34 week ultrasound...things continue to go well. Baby is growing like a weed!

According to the ultrasound measurements, they estimate she currently weighs 5 lbs 9 ozs. and is measuring in the 60 percentile. I am gearing up for a big baby!!

Sunday, started Dustin's vacation from UPS. We didn't want to take a big vacation in the middle of what could be a busy hay season...so, we scheduled a quick mini get away.

We spent 2 days on Chincoteague Island...

The girls enjoyed the beach, and LOVED the pool! Go figure...

We toured the Assateague Lighthouse. Dustin & the girls climbed to the top! I, on the otherhand, sat in the truck with the A/C on!
We toured the visitors centers to learn the history of the Islands, played mini-golf, ate some good food & of course got in a little shopping too!

32 weeks

2010-06-30T14:45:00.003-04:00

Just a quick update...

I had a routine doctor appointment today. Kadenn went along this time. This was her first experience getting to "check on the baby", so she was very excited!

The baby's heartbeat was in the 14o's, it was a bit hard to hear at times because Baby can NOT stay still. The doctor was very pleased though, with how things are going thus far. I am down to 7 weeks and 3 days til my due date...and YES, I am counting down!

I also found out today that I can take Benedryl! I know, not a big deal to the majority of the world. And, being able to take Benedryl while pregnant is probably old news. but here's the deal...

I avoid taking medicine like the plague. So I didn't make it a point to learn what meds I can and can't take. Anyway, on to my point.

I haven't been sleeping...at all! Maybe 2 hours a night, 3 or 4 if I'm lucky. I don't even nap during the day. I'm sure you can only imagine how that must make me feel. So, knowing that it is okay for me to take Benedryl is a good thing! I am so looking forward to going to sleep tonight!

I Will Praise You in This Storm

2010-06-15T23:01:00.004-04:00

I have gone back and forth for the last few days, trying to decide whether or not I would share this story on the blog. It has been almost 2 years, since our lives have become an open book, and we called on our friends, family, and blog readers to become prayer warriors with us.

Yes, from time to time I relish the thought of "privacy", but then God reminds me that each of us have been given a testimony, if you will, and if we don't use it to minister to others we are hindering God's power. I guess you could look at it like the Parable of the talents, and what will you do with God's gift?

For those of you that have been faithfully reading the blog for a while now, know that if you leave the page loaded long enough, you will here Casting Crown's song: Praise You in this Storm. That is just one of several songs that hold special meaning to our family. In our house we refer to the songs on the blog as "Todd's songs". I don't listen to them often any more, for several reasons...

Last week, I was putting a few things away in the closet, in the Baby Todd's room. Which, has now been transformed to the new Baby Sister's room. However, most of Baby Todd's things are packed in the closet, including the bags of cards and gifts we brought home from DuPont. They haven't been touched or sorted through yet, just put in the closet for now. Anyway, I was putting some things away in the closet just like I've done hundreds of times before. Only for some reason, this time was different. As I'm sitting there, I suddenly heard the song Praise You in this Storm start playing. I had no idea where it was coming from. After some delay I realized it was coming from one of the "DuPont Bags", and I instantly started digging, and crying. The faster I dug for whatever was playing this music, the faster the tears flowed. It was now to the point that I could no longer see what I was digging for. I just had to stop that music. Finally, I gave up and said "okay God, you have my attention..."

A musical card, in one of the bags, turned out to be the culprit. Still not sure what made it start to play music, I never touched the bag at all.

I shared what had happened with Dustin, but neither of us really said much about the experience. Later that night, as I lay in bed (unable to sleep, as usual), I began to pray about it. I really wanted to know what God was trying say, no matter how painful it might be. The one thing I kept hearing Him say over and over again was,

"Your storm isn't over...so, why did you stop praising Me?"

Yikes, did I hear that clearly? Yes, I did. Loud and clear, several times. What I realized at that moment is, that storms come and go. Some take a while to pass and others move in and out quickly and very unexpectedly. The same is true with our spiritual storms as well. I have no idea what my storm is right now, and I have no idea where God is taking me next. But what I do know is that storm I'm facing or about to face, won't seem so big while I'm praising God!

From the very beginning, when we asked you all to become prayer warriors with us, we began praying for you too. We don't know who you are, or what your storms are, but we pray for you. My prayer for you (our blog readers) now, is that no matter what storm you are weathering at the moment, you will be able to find a way to continue to praise Him!

28 weeks (almost 29) and counting...

2010-06-03T10:03:00.005-04:00

I know, it's probably a bit soon to start the count down...

...but: It's summer - which means it will get crazy hot real soon. And, I'm feeling huge! Doesn't make for a good combination or a happy pregnant mama...

anyway, moving on to a few updates:

Starting this week, I will be seeing the Doctor every other week. Because of my 'history' they are hoping to find a 'problem' with either me or the baby. Encouraging, huh!?!
This coming Friday (June 4th) I have dedicated to the Lab...I'll be enduring the 3 hour glucose tolerance test. Yes, the one I thought I got out of 2 weeks ago!
Starting at 32 weeks (4 weeks from now) I will start having weekly NST's. (Non-stress tests) - to monitor Baby's movement & my contractions.
I have one more ultrasound scheduled for July. Currently Baby is measuring in the 6oth percentile. Which, according to the doctor, is average.
The nursery is well underway. Just a few more things to take care of, and her room will be all set!

These are a few shots of the Princess, taken at 26 weeks!

2010-05-20T07:48:00.002-04:00

I still find it funny and exciting to see how God answers our prayers. Yes, even the small things matter to Him...and I love that!

Yesterday was my 26 week appointment with the Baby Doctor. Technically though, I am 26 weeks and 5 days. Anyway, I was also to have the dreaded Glucose Tolerance Test yesterday, as well. Now, any of you who have had this test, know what I am talking about. It's not a big deal, but that stuff they make you drink is just plain disgusting. Originally, I was told that I would have the 3+ hour version of this test. Which means I drink the juice then have blood drawn 3 or 4 times in hourly intervals. I am not a patient person & Dustin was in meetings at work, so I was in this by myself.

As it turned out...I didn't have to do the 3 hour version at all. So thank you for answering my prayers!!

On another note, everything with the little "Princess" is going just fine. The doctors are very pleased with me (us).

Starting with my next appointment, I will start having appointments every 2 weeks. Seems soon, I know. BUT, they have told me that because of my history, they are looking for something to go wrong. So, the more often they see me, the more likely they are to find "something". It wasn't very encouraging to hear that, even though I already knew this in the back of my mind. So, if you could please be praying for me in the area of patience...that would be great and much appreciated. I am not a patient person, so 3 more months of waiting for baby to arrive, plus, extra doctor visits just make me a bit crazy!

New Look!

2010-05-13T08:16:00.004-04:00

As you notice, I have made a change to the look of the blog. This isn't a mistake, I just thought it was time for something different...maybe a bit more girly!

Ooops...it looks like I may have lost some of the links that were on the right column. I'll hopefully have them up again soon!

Jerri

Finally, 9 months in the waiting!

2010-05-07T12:38:00.005-04:00

It has been almost 9 months of waiting...both painfully and patiently! But, we finally got the call last Thursday, that Baby Todd's gravestone was being installed.

We took the girls by the church's cemetary the following Saturday to see it.

After all the wait, we were very pleased with how it turned out. As painful as it was, it was definitely worth the wait!

It's nothing fancy...but, being the "farming, outdoorsy" family that we are...we wanted it to look like a rock that was dug up on the farm. Or, something you would see hiking in the mountains.

We've been wanting to go back and take flowers to dress things up a bit. However, Kylei had the bright idea of buying some bulbs to plant next to the stone. So, this weekend we will be buying some bulbs for Baby Todd.

22 weeks

2010-04-16T17:20:00.003-04:00

I know...I'm a bit behind on updating everyone. And, by now, I'm sure most of you have already heard...

We are having

a GIRL!!

Yes, you heard/read correctly...a GIRL!

Yes, we already have a name picked. Not sure about the middle name, but we do have a first name.

NO...we won't be telling you what it is!! :) The name shall remain TOP SECRET for a few more months. However, you are more than welcome to try and figure it out. Leave your guess in a comment. We will definitely enjoy reading through everyone's "guesses".

Moving on...

I did see the specialist in Harrisburg on March 31st. It was a very bittersweet visit. I was so happy to see some very special nurses & doctors. Yet, very sad that I was "back at the specialist".

I had a Level 2 ultrasound, which included very detailed pictures and measurements of the baby's legs, arms, head and organs.

She is amazingly cute, with a little button nose...and healthy!

Both the ultrasound tech and the doctor gave us a clean bill of health. Praise the Lord!!

They did recommend that I have a few more ultrasounds, which aren't really a big deal. Honestly, I am okay with a few more ultrasounds. I kind of like getting to see the baby!

Other than that, we are just hanging out until August!

We did bring home a few pictures, unfortunately she didn't cooperate real well. So they aren't the greatest. Hopefully next time I'll get some good shots and be able to introduce her to the blog world!

18 weeks 5 days

2010-03-24T15:12:00.003-04:00

I had my 18/19 week check up today. It was a very quick appointment. But then again, I guess that's not a bad thing necessarily. I saw a new doctor today. I had no idea she was even part of the practice, nor could I remember her name.

Anyway, on to more important things...

They only did the usual belly measurement & listened to the heart beat.

Heart rate was in the 150's.

This picture was taken Sunday, before we left for church. I'm not really sure what for angle Dustin was going for...but it makes me look a smidge bigger than I really am. At least, I think so! :)

Rumors...

2010-03-18T10:58:00.006-04:00

Rumor has it, that there will be a new member of the Martin family, coming soon!

Well, here it is...the word, straight from the horses mouth. So to speak!

It's true! We're EXPECTING!!

The official due date is August 21, 2010 which means I am almost at 18 weeks.

Just to fill you in on what has taken place so far...

We found out there was going to be a new baby, on Christmas Eve!! Yes, what an amazing Christmas Gift! I wanted to wrap the pregnancy test & give it to Dustin as a gift, but couldn't keep it a secret for more than an hour.

February 16th - I finally got in to see the doctor. We had to wait a bit longer due to some changes in our insurance. But, that's all good now.

February 19th - I had an ultrasound to confirm my due date. The heartbeat was strong and steady. Baby moved quite a bit. This is also the day we told the girls, and our parents. The girls are ecstatic, by the way!!

February 24th - Another appointment with the Doctor. Basically to review the ultrasound and listen to the heartbeat again. The heartbeat at this appointment was 154/160. According to the Doctor, at this appointment, I was 14 1/2 weeks which makes my due date August 21st. She also said the ultrasound looked good, however, it was too soon to see everything.

February 24th - BLOOD WORK!! Yuck...

Not a great picture...This one was taken @ 16 weeks!

March 24th - My next appointment with my regular OB. I will be having my 20 week ultrasound with my neonatologist in Harrisburg on Wednesday March 31st. At this point, I am not going to the specialist because of any concerns. We are just being cautious. Plus, with their ultrasound equipment, we will get a much more detailed result.

I am hoping to get some good pictures at that appointment, so hopefully I can introduce you to the new baby boy OR girl really soon!! Also, in another post, I hope to answer some of the many questions I have been asked lately & update you on how I've been feeling so far!

RMH Update!

2010-01-17T19:19:00.006-05:00

I am finally getting around to updating about our recent trip to the RMH.

January 2, 2010 we traveled to the RMH in Delaware, to prepare a meal for about 30 families, that were staying at the house. I have prepared meals for large groups before, but to be honest 70 or more guests just sounded a bit overwhelming. Dustin & I decided to recruit some help for the evening. Once we were there cooking, we were definitely glad we did! THANK YOU to our helpers...you all are amazing!

We prepared 7 "baked spaghetti" caseroles with garlic bread, green beans, fruit salad, and cookies. We also took another box of items (food and house supplies) that were donated by our friends and family.

When we arrived at the RMH, the volunteer allowed us to use the staff entrance to the kitchen. One of the first things that caught my eye was this:

10 tubs FULL (and over-flowing) of soda can tabs!

Ever since we stayed at the RMH the first time, we have been saving our soda tabs. It doesn't seem like much, but the tabs obviously add up!

Click HERE to learn more about the RMH soda tab donations!

I can't begin to describe how much of a blessing it was to be able to prepare food and share our time with the families at the RMH. Thanks so much to everyone who helped make this experience possible!!

Donations!!

2009-12-23T11:56:00.002-05:00

Some people have already asked how they can help with our upcoming trip to the Ronald McDonald House. I thought sharing here on the blog would be the easiest way.

As most of you know, we will be traveling to the Ronald McDonald House of Delaware on Saturday January 2. We will be preparing dinner for approximately 60-80 guests. Our plan is to prepare a spaghetti/lasagna type meal, complete with the garlic bread, salad and desserts.

We have also been collecting non-parishable food items and cleaning supplies to help stock the RMH food pantry. Click here for a complete "wish list" of items that the RMH is requesting. If you would like to make a donation of food or supplies, please feel free to contact me. You can email me here through the blog, or just leave a comment.

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions. Thanks!!

Snow!

2009-12-19T16:12:00.008-05:00

As of right now, we are averaging 14 inches of snow in our area, and there is more to come!

This is the view looking out my kitchen window.

Happy Birthday!!

2009-12-05T12:33:00.005-05:00

Today we celebrated Baby Todd's first birthday!

(Baby Todd on his "birth day" - December 5, 2008)

This morning, before heading to the Ronald McDonald House, we released balloons in memory of Baby Todd. We attached a tag to each balloon that said:

This balloon was released in memory of:

TODD HESTON MARTIN

born: December 5, 2008

died: December 29, 2008

Read Baby Todd's complete story at http://babysjourneyhome.blogspot.com

**Please leave a note on the blog telling us where you found this balloon!

We released 24 balloons in memory of Baby Todd. One balloon to represent every day we were blessed to spend with him.

Thanks to the wind, the balloons got a bit tangled. So the release was a bit tricky...

After we released the balloons, we headed for Delaware. The closer we got to Wilmington, the more painful it was. However, something changed when we stepped into the RMH. That peace we experienced a year ago, came back. It was such a HUGE blessing and joy to be able to give back, and potentially impact the life of another child.

We were able to deliver over 100 toys and games to the Ronald McDonald House!! Thanks to those who helped make that possible!

**The girls outside the Ronald McDonald House, after delivering the toys!

During our visit, the girls were able to see the RMH "Santa's Workshop". They were very excited to be giving Christmas to another sick child! How better to show them the true meaning of Christmas!

As we were pulling out of the parking lot to head home, the girls thanked us for giving them "the best Christmas EVER!".

Again, thank you so very much for all your prayers and support over the past year & a half.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Going back...

2009-11-22T19:52:00.007-05:00

...to the Ronald McDonald House!

For the last several months we have been collecting toys take to the children that would be staying at the RMH over the Christmas holiday. As of now, we have collected well over 100 toys to be donated. We have also collected other supplies to be donated as well...such as toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap and cleaning supplies.

We will be visiting the RMH of Delaware on the following dates:

Saturday December 5, 2009 - we will be delivering the toys and supplies.

This day is also Baby Todd's birthday...so we will be celebrating his birthday in Wilmington. I have a few ideas planned to help make the day special for the girls as well.

Saturday January 2, 2010 - we will be spending the evening preparing dinner and visiting with the families at the RMH. We will be preparing a meal for approximately 60-80 guests this evening.

Both of these dates hold significant meaning to us, which will cause our visits to be very bittersweet. We are asking for your prayers once again, as we prepare for the next step in this "journey".

Cunningham Falls

2009-09-29T10:37:00.004-04:00

This past sunday, we went with our bible study group to Cunningham Falls State Park, in Maryland. We had a great time grilling, hiking, and just relaxing and enjoying the beautiful scenery.

After lunch the group of us, hiked up the trail to the falls. Some of the more brave members of our group actually climbed to the top of the falls.

As I stood and just listened to the water fall down the rocks, and looked around at what God has created, I quickly realized that He was there.

Psalm 46:10-11

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth."

The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Time flies...

2009-09-08T19:15:00.005-04:00

...when you're having fun. So they say. Unfortunately, time flies by us, whether we are having fun or not. It is so hard to believe that we are quickly passing and approaching the 'one year' mark of so many significant events in our lives.

When I sat down at the computer this evening, I had no intentions of blogging. Actually, I am currently working on putting together a scrapbook of my pregnancy & our time with Baby Todd. For the past half hour I have been printing our blog entries and comments to put in the scrapbook. I figured I may as well take a break and update you on where we've been and what we have been doing over the last few weeks & months. Plus, my printer would probably appreciate a rest as well...

It is still a little hard for me to believe that it was a year ago this past weekend, that we made our very first trip to DuPont Children's Hospital in Wilmington. Dustin & I had the opportunity to sit and talk with Dr. Pizarro for the very first time. Not knowing exactly where our journey was taking us, we left that meeting with an amazing peace and sense of comfort, knowing that we were at the right medical facility with the right medical team. There was no doubt in our mind that God was taking us to Wilmington...for whatever reason!

We are currently making preparations to visit the Wilmington Ronald McDonald House this Christmas. We have collected stacks of toys and are prepared to 'celebrate the Holiday with strangers' once again!

Dustin and I made our trip to the Granite Shop about a month ago. I would like to say it was to pick out countertops for our kitchen remodel, but it wasn't. We placed our custom order for Baby Todd's headstone. Because we went custom, it will take 2-3 months for the granite to be "mined" and shipped to us.

In other aspects of our life, we are managing to stay pretty busy. I baby-sit my Great-niece, Peyton, usually just one day a week. But I absolutely cherish my time with her. She would be 2 months older than Baby Todd, and I can only imagine them being best friends.

Dustin is staying busy running our business, and preparing for the inevitable slowness of the winter season. On a good note, the girls have returned to school! Kylei started third grade, and Kadenn is in first. They both have great teachers and are anticipating a great school year!

Check back, I am intending to start updating more frequently.

Blessings!
Jerri

Rain or Shine

2009-05-05T07:45:00.003-04:00

I would like to thank everyone who supported us, and the March of Dimes this weekend. To date we have raised $345 for the March of Dimes, in memory of Baby Todd. THANK YOU!!

The girls, Dustin & I walked the 5 miles in the rain on Sunday. Despite the rain, we had a great time together. I was very impressed with the girls and their determination to "Finish the Race".

Part way into the walk, we decided to give up on the idea of keeping the girls dry. They walked most of the way in their barefeet!

Kadenn & Kylei at the Finish Line

Another Step

2009-05-02T19:39:00.005-04:00

We took another step in our journey today. Jerri was asked to share our experience at a "ladies tea" of twenty five ladies at The Vine church in Smithsburg Md. She doesn't consider herself a public speaker but, knows her story of Baby Brother and the many blessings from God needs to be heard. This was, as you can imagine, a very stretching step. She said "I was nervous at first but then, a peace came over me and God gave me the words to say". Once again, God was faithful and gave her the strength to do what she didn't think she could.

Tomorrow is the March of Dimes walk in Chambersburg. We will be walking 5k starting at 1:00 and raised $150 for the cause. A BIG THANKS to everyone who supported us.

Also, we are still planning to help at the Ronald McDonald House sometime in December. We are collecting toys to take with us and already have over 100 toys donated. May God be blessed through our continued journey!

Azaleas

2009-04-18T16:46:00.004-04:00

Kylei & I picked this flower to give to Baby Todd for an easter gift. When we bought it, the Azalea had a few branches that stood taller than the others. We clipped those and tied them in a bouquet and put them on Baby Todd's grave Easter Sunday.

Today, as a family, we planted Baby Todd's azalea bush.

Easter

2009-04-12T22:26:00.003-04:00

Signs of spring are finally visible around us. One look outside and you see new life blooming everywhere. For those of us far enough north, Easter means winter is finally over, the ground begins to thaw and settle to prepare for new growth. And don't forget the most important one, the resurrection. Where God gave of His ONLY son...for us. I was reminded of all these things even more vividly today, as we went to see Baby Brother's grave. His grave is not finished, the ground has settled and the stone hasn't been placed yet. The flowers from his service were still where we left them, untouched. But all around that, we saw brand new grass starting to grow.

My heart ached, no wait...it hurt...bad, to read 'Todd H. Martin' on the grave marker today. The selfishness in me almost began to ask God "Why?, Why me?, Why did you have to take my son?"

Then it hit me, God knew exactly how I felt, because He gave His ONLY son too...for me!

A Dream?

2009-04-04T20:36:00.004-04:00

The trees are budding, the grass is greening, and the robins are singing. There is a refreshing, earthy smell in the air that only comes around one time of year. Its hard to believe spring is already here and upon us. It seems like just yesterday we were living in the hospital, while Baby Brother was fighting the odds.

Or was it a dream? Sometimes it feels like life has moved on so fast the last couple of months that the whole experience was a dream. Then we are reminded of the reality and the many blessings when we look at the pictures and read the many comments on the blog. It is a time I will never regret or forget. With that said the legacy of Baby Todd continues.

Jerri and I will like to update everyone with what we feel we want/need to do in memory of Baby Brother. We are going to need your continued support and prayers through the many challenges ahead.

The first thing, Jerri and I will be walking in the March of Dimes on May 3rd. We know there are many babies that can benefit from raising awareness and money for this organization (for more info click on the link on the right).

The second thing, we are planing to help at the Ronald McDonald House in Wilmington, De. this coming year (maybe December). We would like to take presents for the families staying there and cook some meals for them. Its the least we can do for all the help we were given and may become a yearly tradition.

The third thing is still in the dream stage. We would like to start a foundation to support the doctors and hospitals that work with heart conditions like Baby Todd's. The doctors have learned so much from the information they got from Todd, maybe we can help with the research to save the next life. How? When? Where? These are the questions we have. The only answer we have is, we want to do everything in Jesus' name. We know without him we have no life!

The girls are doing great and we want to thank everyone for supporting and praying for us the last couple of months. Your prayers are felt more than you could ever know and I give God the credit for the everlasting joy and peace. I ask everyone to continue praying for us and writing words of encouragement. Now more than ever we need your support.

Carry you through

2009-03-19T23:43:00.008-04:00

I realize it has been quite a while since we really blogged. Thank you for your patience and continued prayer and encouragement as we find our direction...again. For several months, we made our lives so very public and open. I felt as if I really just needed some time to "deal" in private. I never really intended to stop blogging, or taking such a long break. Every time I thought of closing the blog, I felt as if God was telling me something different. So, the story continues...

God has blessed my family so much, and in ways I've never imagined. I have learned so many lessons over the past few months; about myself, Dustin and life in general. One of which is to find the blessings even in our trials. Dustin always tells me that God never promises to remove us from trying times, but He does promise to carry us through them.

James 1:2-3

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

As the numbness slowly fades away, I am starting to realize what our "new normal" will feel like. It has become a bit slower, less comfortable, and even a bit vulnerable at times. But, as I adjust to that "new normal", I see that is where God wants us anyway. He wants us just outside our comfort zone, at a point where we are in complete brokenness and humility. Where we have no choice but to cry out for Him. So He can pick us up, dust us off and put the pieces back together, and more or less mold us into the person He wanted us to be from the beginning.

We all have that place, where we no longer have the strength to continue, where we have become so weak that the only thing moving us forward is the strength we gain from knowing Christ.

Blessings & endurance,

Jerri

March of Dimes Walk

2009-03-06T14:17:00.003-05:00

I added a new link to the blog. Currently the picture isn't there, but the link still works.

I will be participating in the March of Dimes walk May 3, in Chambersburg. I am walking in memory of Baby Todd. My goal is to raise $200 for the March of Dimes.

If you would like to check out my personal March of Dimes page, or make a donation please click on the link on the side of the blog page.

Thanks for your support & prayer as we walk!

Jerri

Snow Tubing

2009-01-27T23:37:00.007-05:00

Tuesday, Dustin and I had the opportunity to take the girls snow tubing with a family from our church. To say they had a blast is an understatement; Kadenn took to the snow as if it was her natural environment, and Kylei loved the thrill of speeding down the hills. I, on the other hand, feel like I broke my back (I guess that shows my age!).

As we drove to Whitetail, I looked into the backseat at the girls. They were all smiles and giggling with excitement. I also envisioned Baby Todd, sitting in his carseat, with no idea of what was to come. This would be his first visit, of many, to Whitetail.
There have been other "firsts" that we have already experienced with out Baby Todd. Like our first sunday back to church, and our first dinner with Pap & Nan at their new house.

Today there are bitter sweet emotions, we are starting to get into the swing of things, which is a good thing. On the other hand, we still have the feeling of forgetting something. I know we will never forget Baby Brother, but moving on without him, kind of leaves us with that feeling. Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

"WITH"

2009-01-25T00:07:00.004-05:00

Wednesday night at bible study we had "prayer night". This is when our bible study group gets together (every other Wed.) and have a couple praise songs, a devotion time, take prayer request, and spend the night in prayer. The devotion was given by "Doc's wife" and I thought was very good , so I asked to share it on the blog. I think this hits home for everyone (where ever you may be in life) and gets us thinking. Please feel free to comment on how this one little word "hits" you. I think it will be very encouraging as we walk through life "with" each other.

WITH. W-I-T-H. With is one of those words that in itself seems to have very little meaning. By grammatical definitions it is a preposition, or as Webster would describe it, “a word that combines with a noun or pronoun to form a phrase.” In fact, when looking up the word “with” in the dictionary one comes across a whole slew of definitions that are all dependent on the words that come before and after it within the phrase that it is used. And yet, somehow, that one, small, insignificant word embodies a whole lot of spirit.

With. “Daddy, come with me,” were the words of a young girl who had forgotten to do her chores and was terrified to go outside alone after dark. “With” meant heaving protection and comfort.

With. It’s what girlfriends do. It is those trips to the bathroom together for a quick therapy or giggle fix – whichever the situation at hand might require. It is the spontaneous adventure taken together. It is the “partner in crime,” the one who will get into trouble with you and will still be there to laugh at it in the years to come. It is knowing exactly what type of ice cream flavor to get for you on a bad day. It is those tears cried for you when seeing your heart break. It is long talks and plenty of lattes. It is shopping trips and projects. It is noticing that new haircut or outfit. It is knowing just what to say to boost the other’s confidence when they are feeling low.

With. It’s what I’ve watched the guys do. It is the wrestling matches in the middle of – well – anywhere. It is the quirky handshakes and the awkward hugs. It is those times of getting together to shoot a few hoops or one another with paintballs. It is the competitive sparing, the robust laugh and the good natured ribbing. It is getting up early to go hang out in the woods and then staying up late to tell the stories. It is the “knowing” nod or handshake when life gets tough and the quick strong thump on the back to let the other know that they care.

With. It is what your spouse does. It is sticking by you throughout all the ups and downs of life. It is knowing how bad you look when you first wake up and kissing you good morning despite the morning breath. It is holding your hand when you need extra strength and giving you their shoulder to cry on. It is knowing your weakness and your faults but still loving you despite it all. It is the long talks, the relaxed evenings, the weekend adventures. It is those quiet and intimate moments you share. It is working along side each other and watching as your work develops into your hopes and dreams. It is companionship.

With. It is what your child needs. It is those moments of getting up in the middle of the night just so they know that you are still there and everything is okay. It is playing silly games, reading little books, and horse playing on the family room floor. It is countless hours of holding, innumerable boo-boo’s to be kissed, and ceaseless giggles to be shared. It is comfort and reassurance. It is boundaries. It is believing in them. It is helping them grow and embrace all that God has created them to be.

The significance of this word takes on a whole new meaning as I ponder the name God chose to describe Himself – Immanuel, which means, “God WITH us.” Tucked in between all powerful “God” and lowly “us” is this word that seemed before to simply speak to the location of God. Now by all standards God’s being in the same location with us is nothing short of amazing! But what is more amazing to me is understanding the fuller meaning of this name when we look at “with” as more than just another preposition.

Immanuel – God is with me. He is “Abba, Daddy,” my protector and my comforter when I have to walk through those dark moments of life – even when it is my own negligence that gets me there.

Immanuel – God is with me. He is a friend who sticks by me. He’s there to share long talks or just go for a walk. He knows just what to say through His word and nature to encourage me. He knows just what blessings to give me when I’m having a hard day. He listens. He laughs with me and cries with me. He is along for the adventure.

Immanuel – God is with me. He is my companion. He loves me through thick and thin and in spite of it all. He KNOWS – really knows all of my quirks and faults, my failings, bad attitudes, and poor decisions. He is there working along side me helping me to accomplish the hopes and dreams He instilled in my heart. He is there when the hurt is too deep to express. He is there to share the joy that sometimes can hardly be contained. He is there in those quiet moments and shares His heart.

Immanuel – God is with me. Like a parent, He is there in the middle of the night when I need reassurance that He simply IS. When I need someone to teach me the boundaries and guide me in the way that is right. He is there to surprise me with good and fun things. He is there to help me grow and become the child He created me to be.

Immanuel, God is with us. It is more than a Christmas carol or something that happened several thousand years ago. It is a way of life and it is 24/7, the whole year through. One more thought though… God is WITH us, but are we WITH God? Have we made God our lifestyle the way He has made us His? Do we take Him with us through every moment of our day or do we limit Him to our devotional time – provided we have time for one? Does God with us and we with God impact the way that we relate to our spouse when they haven’t measured up to our standards, our children when they aren’t obeying, our friends when they aren’t there for us the way we want them to be, our co-workers when they get really annoying, and those random people whose mission every morning is to make us late for work? It is a challenge to me, and I hope to you too to make a conscious choice to live each day and each moment intentionally WITH God.

Here are several verses that I have come across recently that reflect the concept of God with us and we with God – all day long!

Joshua 1:8 “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.”

Psalm 119:164 “Seven times a day I praise you for your righteous laws.”

D. Amstutz

Picture Perfect

2009-01-19T11:17:00.004-05:00

Dustin's cousin, who is a photographer, has been working on a project for us. It arrived yesterday, and we were so excited we had to share it with our "Blog Family". I will working on getting it framed this week, and hope to have it hanging soon!

Thank you Selena, this was a wonderful gift!

Little did I know

2009-01-14T23:26:00.002-05:00

As I was reading through my bible tonight, I came across a few scriptures I had marked, back in July. These verses were from a devotion I did shortly after receiving the diagnosis of Baby Todd's heart condition. I remember coming across Psalms 139:14 several different times. This verse stuck, because it quickly became our theme verse.

"I praise You for I am fearfully, and wonderfully made"

What a blessing and encouragement it was to know that our son was created perfect in the image of our Heavenly Father. As we prayed and committed Baby Todd to Jesus, we were determined to give God the Glory, no matter what storm we would weather.

The first time we met with the Cardiologist, we were told that Baby Todd would never be able to play soccer or work on the farm. He would not play sports at all, and would probably end up having a "desk job" or something less physical. As devistating as it was to hear that, we knew that was God telling us He had bigger plans. We knew that Baby Todd was special and that God was preparing us for something. At one point I said that Baby Todd will be the next Billy Graham. He will minister to people in ways we would never understand, and touch lives we will never know about. He will have an amazing testimony one day. Little did I know, that his testimony would be told through us.

My devotion, that day back in July, also led me to Jeremiah 1:5.

"Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work. I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

A peace came over me, as I read the verse tonight. I read the verse again, this time continuing through verse 8. Right then, I knew that we were exactly where God wanted us to be. Painful as it is at times, yet obedient to His call.

6. Then I said, "But Lord God, I don't know how to speak. I am only a boy."

7-8. But the Lord said to me, "Don't say, 'I am only a boy.' You must go everywhere I send you, and you must say everything I tell you to say. Don't be afraid of anyone, because I am with you to protect you," says the Lord.

Kaya and Buddy

2009-01-12T22:58:00.011-05:00

We are asked many times throughout our days, "How are you doing? Still holding up? How are the girls?". Our reply still remains the same "As good as can be expected for the situation. I don't know how people can do this without Christ to walk with. We have an overwhelming peace." I can honestly say this is the truth. This isn't something we say just to 'get through' the conversation. There are two choices that can be made....crawl into a black hole and die in your own pity, or count your blessings God has given you and give him the Glory. The blessing may sometimes be small or even not what you expected, but they are blessings none the less for God is Good. We as Christan's need to be always looking for the blessings in our lives (even if we think we don't have any) and when we find them (I know they are there) we need to bring Praise to God in all situations.

To answer the question of the how the girls are doing, very well. As Jerri shared earlier, their faith and understanding are amazing. Kylei is a very good big sister and since the passing of Baby Brother, she has latched onto her baby doll, Kaya. She cares for her like a big sister cares for her baby sister ....changing her diaper, feeding her, and tucking her in bed at night.

Kadenn is a great big sister also and she has her puppy, Buddy. You might recognize him from earlier when the girls visited us in the hospital. Buddy was Baby Todd's stuffed animal that Kadenn bandaged up with the medical supplies they were given by the patient care provider. We gave him back to her when we explained to her about Baby Brother going to heaven. He goes everywhere with her and he still has most of his bandages. When she missed her brother, she gives Buddy big hugs and says she loves him. We love to watch our girls with their ways caring out the big sister role.

"Dear Lord, protect my childern and give them ever lasting faith throughout their journey of life, Amen"

Puzzle of Reminders

2009-01-09T22:01:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to let let everyone know how blessed I really am. When I met Jerri, ten plus years ago, I knew she was a very special women (after all she stayed with me), But its not till you go through an experience like this that you realize who she really is. I tell you the truth, I have the most amazing wife one could ever have. She was unbelievably strong for her family (the girls and I), during the past week and a half, even though she was hurting so bad, her arms ached with emptiness. Even as I write this, she is writing thank you cards to everyone that helped and supported us in and through this time. She is reading through notes of the past couple of weeks to remember everyone who supported us, which brings back the ache of emptiness. She doesn't know that I am posting this (she probably wouldn't let me ), but I thought every one should know. I love you Babe!

Now that I turned in my man card, I want to share this puzzle with you.

This is a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle we got Kylei for Christmas. We were to put it together as a family, frame it, and hang it above Baby Brothers crib. Well, we did put it together as a family and its 12"x36" and looks great. However, it was a reminder of the crib we don't have to hang it above, so I thought what better place to hang it than on this blog for everyone to enjoy. There is not a moment that goes by during the day that we are not reminded of Baby Brother. Even when I think of how close Jerri and I have become, I think of him and thank God for him. If it wasn't for Baby Todd we never would have spent so much time together or even tried to. I praise God of he is Good!

I would like if whoever reads this to comment to Jerri. I know she would like it. Thanks!

2009-01-08T00:28:00.001-05:00

Child-like faith

2009-01-07T23:04:00.006-05:00

Dustin & I wanted to share a few pictures with our readers. The pictures in the slide show were set as the screen-saver on our laptop while we were at DuPont. There were many times we would catch ourselves just sitting and watching the computer flip through the pictures. We were unable to have the girls with us at the Hospital, but these pictures were our constant reminder of home.

Yesterday, we celebrated Kadenn's 6th birthday. It's hard to believe that she is already 6. She has such a young, fun-loving and energetic personality. Yet, through out the last 4 weeks, she has taught Dustin & I so much.
One of my favorite things is watching children put their faith into action. The faith of child is so simple and sincere. Over the last several weeks, and this last week especially, we have been blessed with countless 'special moments' with the girls. We have had conversations that will never be forgotten, and seen them handle themselves in ways that are truly encouraging. Their faith is amazing!

I've shared the following moment with several people, but I wanted to share it again. It has been such an encouragement to us. I was talking with Kadenn about Baby Todd being at home in Heaven. Kadenn was very sad that she didn't get to meet her Baby Brother. I had nothing left to say, but I'm sorry. At that point, I felt as if I had disappointed the girls or even failed them because I was unable to bring Baby Todd home. During the conversation I said "I'm sorry", over and over again. I couldn't do anything but apologize to her. Finally, she looked up at me and said, "Mommy, you don't have to be sorry. It wasn't your fault. You did the best you could. Baby Todd was very sick, and you didn't know. He's in heaven because Jesus is the only one that knows how to take care of him".

As for our 'daily routine', we're getting there...one day at a time!

A Routine

2009-01-04T22:07:00.003-05:00

It has been 6 days now since this whirlwind has begun. Monday we try to start our daily routines again; get the girls on the bus, plan the work schedule for the day, etc. The reality of this day coming, breaks our hearts again, because there are a couple of routines going to be missing; waking up to a dirty diaper, putting a car seat in the truck to get groceries, etc. We cling to the words the girls wrote to baby brother "I love You. You are special." Its is the simple ways of a child that keep us grounded. In the midst of the pain, we rejoice in the testimonies of how Baby Todd touched so many people. The relationships brought back together, the closure to pain of many years, the assurance of not being alone, the list goes on. We want to thank everyone for all the support and prayers. The next days/weeks/months are going to be hard yet rewarding just like the last month. Jerri and I continue to pray for strength and give God praise for He is Good.

Daddy's Heart

2009-01-02T22:40:00.002-05:00

Baby Brother, from the day we found out about his condition strengthened my faith and my family. His life brought me to a point, over and over again, of completely relying on God. In return God was faithful over and over again. Through it all Todd had strength that could not be described. As the Doctors once told us “He is made of something special”. I feel very blessed to be the earthly father of this little boy. As I would begin to weaken, Todd would squeeze my finger and look at me with strength that only could have come from God. Baby Todd left a legacy here on earth in three weeks, greater than I will ever imagine. I use the strength that God has given me through Baby Brother to give God the glory, praise, and honor. There will always be a spot in my heart for Baby Brother, and I know there is a spot for Jerri and I in the arms of Jesus. I thank God for answering all our prayers of complete healing. God was faithful again. We have a peace in our hearts that leave us rejoicing and following in the footsteps of Jesus.

Mommy's Memories

2009-01-02T22:35:00.002-05:00

July 22 we were given the news of Baby Todd’s heart condition. He was later diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. The doctor explained to us that the left side of his heart was not adequately developed and with out surgery he would not survive. We were also told that with this condition Baby Todd would most likely never play soccer or be able to do work on the farm. As disappointing as it was to hear this news, I knew that this was God’s way of telling us he had bigger plans in store for us and Baby Todd.
I was blessed with many memories in my short three weeks with Baby Todd. Memories that I will forever cherish and hold close to my heart. Carrying him to the Operating Room for his very first surgery, being excited for his first “wet diaper”, tickling his feet, holding his hand and looking into his big blue eyes and encouraging him to “hang on…it wouldn’t be much longer”.
Over the last several months, and the last three weeks especially, we continually prayed that God would give us a miracle. God was truly faithful and answered our prayers, and gave us our miracle. Through the overwhelming and ever changing emotions we have experienced, we still consider ourselves blessed to have been chosen to be Baby Todd’s earthly parents.

Memorial Service

2008-12-31T14:00:00.003-05:00

Todd Heston Martin
Born in Harrisburg, PA on Dec. 5, 2008

Departed on Dec. 29, 2008 at Alfred I DuPont Hospital for Children

Memorial Service:

Friday January 2, 2009 at 11:00am

Mercersburg Mennonite Church

Graveside Service immediately following

We invite everyone to come celebrate Baby Todd's legacy.

Thanks for your support.

Dustin & Jerri

To see his complete obituary go to http://www.bowersoxfuneralhomes.com/

Leaving a Legacy

2008-12-31T01:09:00.004-05:00

Tuesday morning we made our final drive home from DuPont Children's Hospital. The ride home was quiet, and full of mixed emotions. We definitely felt a relief and peace to know that we were going home, however there was an overwhelming feeling of sadness. Sadness at the thought of "leaving something behind". It was way stronger than forgetting where you put your keys, or forgetting something on the grocery list; which I've done countless times. I'm not really sure that there are words to express the emotions.

Several times during the drive I would look back at the girls, and see silent tears flowing down their cheeks. It was heartbreaking to see them hurting, yet their faith in knowing that Baby Brother is with Jesus, with a brand new heart, is very encouraging.

We both feel very blessed to have been given 3 weeks with Baby Todd, and memories we will cherish forever. We may never know the full impact he had on others, but we are certain that he has left a legacy that will never be forgotten.

Home at Last

2008-12-29T22:41:00.002-05:00

Sunday took us backward a few steps. Due to Baby Todd being on so much support for so long, his kidneys and liver shut down and his lungs were not getting better. Today we reached the point of no recovery, so we had to make the decision to stop the support. This was a decision we hoped we never had to face, but had to be made. At 4:00 pm on Dec. 29 we told the doctors to stop support and a few minutes later Baby Brother finished the race and made it home. He is now in the hands of Jesus with complete healing and a brand new heart. There is no more machines, no more tubes, no more wires, and no more noise just PEACE! The kind of peace that can only come from God. The doctors and nurse said he was the toughest baby they have ever had and he was made of something special.

Thank You for all of your support and prayers. We will continue to update this blog.

Keep on Keeping on!

2008-12-28T00:38:00.002-05:00

The doctors were finally able to take fluid out of Baby Todd the last 24 hours with the ultra filtration system. Before the system, they were putting in more fluid than he was putting out, thus making his lungs 'wet'. With the extra fluids out, they are hoping his lungs can recover. It was hard to see him today, if you can imagine a grape to a raisin you will understand. We can now see how sick he really is.

I took the girls back home today, and it leaves us here in the quiet once again. We look forward to each day we get to see them. We are praying that Todd will take a few steps forward, so we can feel more comfortable taking turns coming home. Continue to pray for Baby Todd's lungs to recover and we are keeping on keeping on! God is Good, all the time! All the time, God is Good!

Ronald McDonald House

2008-12-26T22:43:00.014-05:00

For the past week or so, Dustin has taken over the job of updating the blog. He's done an amazing job, and I am now a huge fan of his writing. I wake up every morning and one of the first things I do is read his entry, since he typically writes after I am in bed the night before. Anyway, we both thought it was time for me to take a turn at blogging again.

I never imagined that I would be spending Christmas weekend at the Ronald McDonald House, and celebrating the Holidays with complete strangers. Then again, in the last three weeks, I've done a lot of things I never imagined myself doing. But, I honestly have to say that we have been having a great time together as a family...starting new Holiday Traditions. Those of you who know me, know that I am NOT a fan of fast food, especially McDonalds. However, I doubt I will ever pass up the opportunity to support McDonalds and the Ronald McDonald House again!

I was able to spend 2 hours with Baby Todd this morning. It was a wonderful visit with him. Because of my fear of losing him, I slowly detached myself from the experience all together. For the first time since we received his diagnosis in July, I felt like I was finally starting to allow my self to connect with him and "bond". He was awake most of my visit this morning, and was moving his hands and legs. He would squeeze my finger when I talked to him, and would look at me as if he was just soaking up every word I said. I talked to him about leaving a legacy, the importance of his testimony, and the amazing Gifts that God has given him.

While visiting with Baby Todd this morning, the nurses updated me on the adjustments they were making to his machines. His overall condition has not changed, and in the Doctor's words, "He is still a very sick baby". His tiny body has been through so much over the last 3 weeks, his organs are still in need of much rest. We are continuing to pray for improvement in his liver and kidney function, and restoration and healing for his lungs. This has been a very slow process, but through it all God has been very faithful...and His timing is perfect.

Thank you all, again, for your continuous prayer and support, and encouragement. I can not begin to tell you how much it means to us, to know that we have so many people praying and walking with us in this journey.

Three Weeks

2008-12-25T23:12:00.003-05:00

We have been in Delaware three weeks, so I thought I would give a complete update of where Baby Todd is on Christmas day. He has the Berlin Heart doing the work for his heart, the VV ecmo doing the work for his lungs, and an ultra filtration system doing the work for his kidneys. There is at least 4 large machines and a total of 23 tubes, lines, and wires attached to him. This morning there were an additional 18 wires attached to his head for testing of his brain. The doctors are very impressed he is still "intact" in his head and the tests today, at first look, did not show any concern.

This is the Berlin Heart in the front and the Breathing Machine in the back.
This is the VV ecmo machine and the Ultra Filtration System

The doctors said a new heart would be a very good thing right now if one were to come available. Until then, they are doing every thing they can to keep his body functioning. Todd is still fighting even though the odds are stacking against him. We try to focus on the goods things and remember God has brought us this far for a reason.

Today Jerri and I felt more home sick than ever, but we made the best of the situation. We put up a small Christmas tree in our room and put many presents under it.

The girls didn't seem to mind the small tree because it still had the presents.

We added a tractor theme, to make it feel more like home (we are so redneck). Sorry dad, we couldn't find red tractors so we added red bows.

We had a great day opening presents and spending the day together. We went to the movies to watch "Marley and Me". It was a good movie for the girls and when it was over Kadenn said "the movie made my eyes water". So, take some tissues if you go to watch it.

Todd was here to squeeze my finger one more day, so I believe God gave us a Christmas Maricle. We continue to pray for complete healing one day at a time and thank God for a wonderful Christmas.

The Kitchen Sink

2008-12-24T19:30:00.004-05:00

Ready or not we have to do it. This is how our day started this morning. It was determined the VV ecmo was doing more harm than good, thus making Todd sick. We had to take him off the VV ecmo and see if his lungs could do their job. A couple of hours later with his oxygen levels dropping, we knew his lungs were not ready. So, back onto another type of VV ecmo to help minimize the harm. They have also started a form of dialysis to help get rid of the extra fluids in Todds body. This is the last attempt to dry out his lungs and get them working. I guess one could say "We now threw in the kitchen sink". The next day or two we will know the direction we are heading.

We do have a room at the Ronald McDonald House and friends of ours (Mike and Stacy) are bringing the girls down tonight to stay a couple of days. When we checked in, they took us to Santa's Workshop full of toys. They told us to pick out five toys per kid and two for each of us for Christmas. The girls are going to have plenty of presents this year to help drown out the drama, and Baby Todd will have plenty also for when he gets well.

Despite all the drama Todd has been through, he squeezed Jerri's finger and looked her in the eyes. This was the encouragement we needed to make it another day. We are praying for a Christmas Miracle tonight. I know God is going to remain faithful, so I am remaining faithful also.

Merry Christmas to All and God Bless

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

2008-12-24T00:04:00.004-05:00

Two days until Christmas, and we finally got our shopping done. We are working on getting a room in the Ronald McDonald House, so the girls can stay with us a couple of days to celebrate Christmas.

Baby Todd has had an up and down day. The x-ray of his lungs appears to be better than yesterday, but his kidneys and liver took a step in the wrong direction. The doctors do not have a solution to help them, at this point. They are running a lot of tests to see what they can find. It may be side effects from the VV ECMO machine. To make a long story short, Baby Todd needs to come off the VV ECMO as soon as possible, but at this point his lungs do not appear to be completely ready. It's like we are stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Today we are praying for complete healing in Todd's lungs, so he can be taken off the VV ECMO tomorrow. This is a big thing to ask God for, but I know he will be faithful in ways that can not be described.

Its Official

2008-12-22T22:06:00.003-05:00

Today was another day of rest for Baby Todd. God was faithful again! The doctors are slowly going to try to ween him of the oxygenating machine (VV ecmo), if his lungs continue to improve. This will be a very big step in the right direction.

Jerri and I had a chance to do some Christmas shopping today. We are planning on celebrating Christmas in Delaware and working on the details. I believe this is going to be a Christmas we won't forget.

Todd Heston Martin is now official. Since his birth he was referred to as Baby Boy Martin. Because of the urgency at his birth, they didn't find it important to have the official name on file. They did the fastest registration they could. We trust God for another day of rest tomorrow for Todd and pray for complete healing of his lungs.

God is Faithful!

2008-12-21T22:02:00.004-05:00

Sunday morning we talked to the surgeon for the updates of the past 24 hours and things look positive. He said the x-rays of his lungs today improved again and there is still no bleeding. He continued to say we need another week of rest with no set backs. I said we just need a day at a time. Today has been another day of rest for Baby Todd just like he needs. God is faithful and answered our prayers once again!

Jerri's sister Sharon was able to bring the girls down to see us today. We got to show them around the hospital and the room where we are staying.

The train wall in this picture is the hallway of the hospital. The hospital is geared for children and every hallway has a different theme. The patient care provider gave a bag of hospital suppies to the girls. They had a wonderful time playing nurse in our room on baby Todd's stuffed animals. We also took the girls to Chuck E Cheese's and had a blast. We were quickly remided of the energy level our girls can have.

Tonight we pray for another day of rest for Baby Todd and for the Holy Spirit to breath complete healing into his lungs. We need to remain faithful to God and his Power! Thank You to All and Praise be to God!

All God!

2008-12-21T00:10:00.008-05:00

When we have nothing to rely on but God, we get an overwhelming peace. This may be hard to understand, but the last couple of weeks brought us to this point. Its a point where us as Christians should be at all times, but we often find ourselves relying on other things. It is when these things reach their limit that we cry out to God. Our God has on limits! Therefore put your trust in him and experience the overwhelming peace of God.

The last 24 hours have been all God! Todd had some bleeding for a couple of days that the doctors just could not seem to get completely stop. Last night I prayed for the holy spirit to enter Todd's body and stop the bleeding. When Jerri and I talked to the doctor this morning, he said that the bleeding he was fighting the last couple of days had stop over night and completely dried up. He continued to say the lung x-ray seems to be better today. The doctor seem to be very satisfied and said we just need a quiet day of rest. Today has been just that, a quiet day of rest. Today God showed his Power!!

A song came to mind today "Show Your Power Lord Our God"

We need a Miracle!

2008-12-19T20:54:00.003-05:00

Friday morning the surgeon had to relocate the tubes going to the oxygenating machine, to help control some bleeding that started Thursday night. This helped with the bleeding for now. The surgeon said that Todds lungs are not showing signs of improvement. He continued to say to Dustin that from a medical perspective, there is nothing more that can be done to help his lungs improve. The lungs will need to heal on their own or we are down a dead end road. This leaves us at the limit of technology, but at the begining of what God can do. We are still waiting, and praying for a miracle for Baby Todd.

The Marathon

2008-12-19T00:48:00.005-05:00

The past 24 hours took us a few steps back. Wednesday night, due to his lowering oxygen levels, the surgeon had to put Todd on another machine to oxygenate his blood. His kidneys and liver seem to be improving, so the doctors are remaining optimistic. The one doctor said "this is technology at its limit".

Today Jerri was able to go home and spend some time with the girls. I was able to spend several hours with little man today. He would squeeze my finger and look at me as if to say "I'm hanging in there daddy". Its moments like this I think I will never forget. A doctor told me to pace myself we are running a marathon....I guess she thought I was putting in a lot of time. On two occasions the nurses said "He is one tough baby". That's my boy!

We thank everyone who is continuing to run this marathon with us. We pray for Todd's lungs to recover and continued strength for 'one tough baby'. Praise be to God for he is in control!

Baby Steps & Birthday wishes!

2008-12-16T21:32:00.002-05:00

It has been 2 days since we have updated, but there haven't been many changes. Dustin & I got the chance to spend quite a bit of time with Baby Todd Tuesday. It was rather difficult to leave him actually. The nurses were allowing him to be awake more. We were definitely enjoying the moments we got to look into his eyes and see him respond to our voices...we find this to be very encouraging.

Today hasn't been quite as encouraging, however. In the past 12 hours Baby Todd's oxygen levels in his blood dropped again. Therefore, the doctors had to sedate him again to keep him still. The less he moves, the less oxygen that his body uses. His liver, kidneys and lung seem to be showing signs of improvement. Pray that his lungs will continue to improve and oxygen levels stablize.

It was nice to get to celebrate Dustin's birthday yesterday. Fortunately Baby Todd was having a good day, so we were able to leave the Hospital for a while and go for dinner. The staff here at the hospital found out it was Dustin's birthday...he was eating up all the attention the nurses were giving him! Thanks for all the cards and emails, they definitely helped make the day special.

Bittersweet emotions

2008-12-16T01:18:00.004-05:00

Monday started kind of bittersweet. When we met with the Doctor, he said Baby Todd's urine output has been increasing, which is a good sign. He continued to say that his right lung did not appear to be functioning, which lowered his blood oxygen level. This was a step in the wrong direction.

Dustin was able to make a quick trip home today to see the girls for the afternoon. They were so excited and surprised to see him. After tucking them into bed he headed back to the hospital.

I was able to sit with Baby Todd for about an hour this evening before dinner. For most of my visit, he was opening his eyes and following my voice. This was the highlight of my day. He has proven himself to be a tough little boy.

Despite the increase in his urine output, he is still retaining a lot of fluids. We are praying that his kidneys will continue to improve and for his right lung to regain function.

A Milker?

2008-12-14T23:51:00.004-05:00

It has now been 2 days since the Berlin Heart was implanted in Baby Todd. Not much has changed in the 24 hours, which what was expected. We are still in rest mode. Todd did peek open his eyes a couple of times even though he is kept sedated. This was encouraging to us.

The Berlin Heart is an interesting machine that makes me feel at home. That may seem weird, but it sounds and looks kind of like a pulsating milker. Here is a video to prove my point (the sound didn't come through very well).

I had a great evening watching our girls in the Christmas program at our church. Thanks to friends who recorded the program and posted it for us to watch. We wish we could have been there. We are still hanging on and can't wait to be back home.

The first 24 hours

2008-12-13T23:01:00.004-05:00

Baby Todd has been on the Berlin Heart for about 24 hours. He has responded well to it, and is making very slow progress in baby steps. His liver and kidney functions are improving. We never thought we would be so excited for a wet diaper!

Dustin and I were encouraged by the doctor to take a break this afternoon and get out of the hospital. We took his advice and went out to get some fresh air. Going out for lunch didn't seem like a big deal, but boy did it make a difference. Dustin was finally able to get a haircut too. It's amazing how quickly we can take those little things for granted.

Overall, today has been a better day. We still have a long road ahead of us, and continue to pray for healing.

The longest day

2008-12-12T19:55:00.003-05:00

First of all, THANK YOU so much for all the prayers. We definitely felt them today. We had another long and stressful day.

Baby Todd went back into surgery today to have the Berlin Heart implanted. He was taken into the OR around 9am for what was to be a 3 hour procedure. As the hours past and the updates seemed to not go as good, the day grew longer and longer. Todd didn't come out of surgery until 5pm. The Berlin Heart was successfully implanted, but when they tried to take him off the heart and lung machine his lungs wouldn't do their job. This was a big problem! The surgeon was not satisfied until Todd could be taken off the heart and lung machine, this required more time in surgery. Thankfully they finally have him on the Berlin Heart and off the heart and lung machine.

We are again back to the waiting stage, with God in complete control. Today, more than ever, we relied on our faith in Jesus Christ! Its a hard place to be , but I know comes with many rewards. When we talked to the surgeon before the surgery, he said Todd has had little side affects for what he has been through. He continued to say "Todd is made of something special" several times. I give God the glory for something special!!

The Berlin Heart

2008-12-12T00:05:00.002-05:00

Thursday was an up and down day. The doctor made an attempt at weening Baby Todd off the heart and lung machine. They found that he wasn't quite ready and had to make some adjustments to the tubes connecting him to the machine. Before the adjustments, the kidneys were beginning to show signs of stress, afterwards they started to return to a more normal function. Thursday ended up being a day full of waiting and rest, again.

We found out Wednesday night that Baby Todd has been approved to receive the Berlin Heart. It is to be arriving some time Thursday night. He has been tentatively scheduled to have the Berlin Heart procedure around 8:30am on Friday morning. The use of the Berlin Heart is to allow Baby Todd's heart to continue to rest, without as high a risk of infection, bleeding or other organ damage.

Current Post-op options...

2008-12-10T17:27:00.004-05:00

We were able to speak with the Surgeon again this afternoon. At this point, Baby Todd is not ready to be taken off the heart and lung machine. He has had some bleeding around his heart, which had to be stopped and cleaned. The nurses and doctor all say that this is normal and to be somewhat expected.

The 'road blocks' in the surgery yesterday left his heart very stressed and with a less than oringially expected recovery percentage. Knowing this we have taken all precautionary measures, which includes Baby Todd being added to the Heart Transplant list. Because he is still on the heart and lung machine, Baby Todd has level 1-A Priority. We have also applied for the use of a "Berlin Heart". Which will be a more long term "fix" while we wait for recovery and/or transplant.

At this point we are still in the waiting process and are still praying for healing and recovery of the heart he has been given.

Links have been added to the right side of the blog with information regarding Heart Transplantation and the Berlin Heart.

Surgery Update

2008-12-10T08:44:00.004-05:00

Today is 'waiting day'. Currently we are waiting for Baby's doctor to run a few more tests and re-evaluate his condition. He is still on the Heart and Lung machine to allow his heart to rest as much as possible. Yesterdays' surgery took much longer than the doctor originally expected due to a few 'road blocks'.
The doctor plans to slowly allow Baby's heart to work on its own, with out the machine. If all goes according to plan we will be starting the weening process today.

I was asked by the doctor and nurses to carry Baby Todd back to the OR. The doctor with us is one of the Baby's anesthesiologists.

Surgery Day

2008-12-08T17:31:00.000-05:00

Surgery is scheduled for 8:30am Tuesday morning. The procedure takes about 3 hours, give or take. The doctor and nurses expect that we should be able to see him (after surgery) by lunch time.

Thank you in advance for all your prayers...we will update with any results as soon as we can!

Transport

2008-12-08T11:00:00.000-05:00

This is a bit of backing up, but I wanted to take a minute to fill everyone in on the transport to Wilmington.

Baby Todd was born at 2:12pm on Friday afternoon, and taken immediately to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Around 5:30pm we got the call that the DuPont Transport team has arrived and were preparing him for transport. At this point we got to go be with Baby Todd in the NICU before he left. I was able to hold him for a minute...only long enough for Dustin to take this picture.

Dustin was not able to ride in the ambulance with the Baby, but followed in our vehicle. They left Harrisburg around 6:30pm and it took them about 2 hours to get to Wilmington.

Dustin got settled into our room for the night, and I met up with him on Saturday. I was discharged from the Harrisburg Hospital around 8:15am and left the hospital around 11am and headed straight to DuPont.

Thanks to everyone who was with us on Friday and Saturday and helped us through this transition!!

Video Update

2008-12-07T19:27:00.000-05:00

Baby Todd is currently in the CICU (Cardiac Intensive Care Unit) awaiting his surgery. He has several IV's and monitors attached to him. The Doctor and nurses are currently monitoring his head and body's oxygen levels, body temperature, blood pressure, pulse and chest movements. He has IV's in his left hand and in his umbilical cord.

The clear, plastic box 'thing' is his air hood. It is used to manipulate and regulate the air that Baby Todd is breathing.

We got to go sit with Baby Todd this morning for about an hour. As of right now, that was the only time we got to be with him today. There has been a lot of activity in the CICU today, so we were not permitted in to visit this afternoon or evening.

During our visit this morning Baby Todd was a bit restless. So I got to hold his hand, underneath his breathing hood. The nurses have been giving him his pacifier dipped in sugar water, to help soothe him.

He's HERE!!

2008-12-07T07:17:00.000-05:00

Todd Heston

Born: Friday December 5, 2008 at 2:12pm

Harrisburg Hospital

Weight: 7 lbs 2.6 zs

Length: 20.5 inches

37 weeks 2 days

2008-11-22T16:24:00.000-05:00

Friday, November 21st I had another OB appointment, and I saw another new doctor. Sorry, but I don't even know his name.

My appointment was at 1:00pm so of course I ate a sandwhich on the way there, which I learned was not the best thing to do. They put me on the monitor first, and since I just ate, Baby Brother didn't want to cooperate with them. He just wanted to lay comfortably and not move at all. Finally, after about 20 minutes, he started moving around. At this point, his heart rate went up to 182. I started to panic, but the nurse said it was okay to go that high. I also had a pretty big contraction while on the monitor. I have been having a lot of contractions lately, but not regularly enough to be really concerned. Having contractions seem to make me really tired. So, I have been trying to relax as much as possible...hoping to save up some energy for the real deal!!

I had another ultrasound today too...to check fluids & baby's breathing patterns. Doctor says everything is looking good! They didn't check dialation, which kind of surprised me...considering I am less than 3 weeks away from my due date.

I go back up to Harrisburg to be monitored on Black Friday. I have to go to the hospital for this appointment since the Office will be closed. Then I go back to see the Doctor on Monday December 1st. At that appointment we are going to check dialation and discuss scheduling me to be induced. So hopefully, at that point, I'll have a better idea of when Baby Brother will be joining us!!

I got another picture before we left for the doctor today...

SURPRISE!!

2008-11-21T10:13:00.003-05:00

This past Sunday, some ladies from our church hosted a Surprise Baby Shower for us. I was VERY surprised to say the least. It was hosted by our assistant pastors wife...at their house. We were supposed to be going to their house for a church related "meeting". But, there was no meeting!!

Anyway, we received lots of great gifts. Including the baby bath robe I'm holding in the picture, as well as diapers, wipes, sleepers, thermometer, onesies, towels & washcloths, blankets, hats and toys & cd's.

A huge THANK YOU to everyone who attended the shower! You ladies are amazing...not just for the shower & gifts, but for your encouragement & prayers!

36 Week check up

2008-11-17T11:18:00.000-05:00

I saw the Doctor on Friday, for my 36 week check.

I did not have to be on the monitor this week, everything was checked through my ultrasound.

Baby Brother's heart rate was 131 and he weighs 6 lbs.

According to the measurements of his arms and legs...he is measuring at 35 weeks.

His weight measures out to almost 37 weeks. So we are expecting him to be short and chunky! :)

At this point, not too much is going on. We are just waiting on Baby Brother to make his appearance!

I go back to the doctor on Friday the 21st for my next check up!!

So little time...so much to do!

2008-11-12T07:48:00.000-05:00

Well - it's official! The countdown has begun...I have 4 more weeks until Baby Brother is due to join us! I feel like I have so much to do to prepare. Here is a list of things I'll be working on over the next 4 weeks...hoping Baby doesn't come too early, so I can finish my list! ;o)

* Finish the curtains in Baby Brother's room...I decided to make them myself and I have to finish the one set and start the second!

* Find a quilt & buy crib sheets that will match his curtains

* Buy a few more items that are required for caring for a baby...monitor, diaper pail, bottles, etc

* Pack our suitcases for our stay at the Hospital -both Harrisburg and Wilmington

* Changing table for upstairs

* Put together the Swing, Stroller, and Car Seat

I'm sure I am missing a few things on my list, but these are just a few I have been concentrating on. We actually put together the stroller and Car seat last night. So I can cross that off my list!

I have been having more contractions...not strong ones, but they have been happening more often, even when I am laying down or resting. So, we'll see what the Doctor says on Friday.

35 weeks, 2 days

2008-11-07T17:17:00.000-05:00

I wish I could get in the habit of updating sooner...sorry, I am almost a week behind.

Yet another check up...Friday November 7

Once again I was hooked up to the monitor to check Baby Brother's heart rate and movements. I was also being monitored for any contractions. Baby Brother cooperated and his heart rate and movements fluctuated accordingly...so well, as matter of fact, that I didn't have to do the entire half hour! Plus, I actually had a contraction while hooked up to the monitor. I never experienced Braxton Hicks contractions with my first two pregnancies, I had no idea what they felt like. Well, now that I experienced it while on the monitor, I know exactly what a contraction feels like. And...I have been having them for a few weeks. Not regularly at all, but at least one or 2 a day.

Anyway, I had one contraction and Baby Brother's heart rate was anywhere between 116 and 156. He moved quite a bit. I did have a quick ultrasound, but they only measured fluid and his heart rate again. Next appointment I will have the growth scan, to see how big he is getting!

Since I was having contractions, the doctor thought it best to check and see if I am dialating at all. I am almost at 1 cm...which is not much at all. I do find that I have contractions more frequently if I do a lot of walking. So, the Doctor told me to take it easy and make sure I get lots of rest so I don't have any contractions. Their goal is for me to go at least 40 weeks or even 41 weeks (YIKES!) to make sure Baby Brother is plenty big enough for surgery.

My next appointment is Friday November 14th...36weeks and 2 days!

34 Week check up...

2008-11-02T08:47:00.000-05:00

Sorry for posting twice in one day. I wanted to update sooner but I had a very busy weekend, and when I did have a bit of down time...I slept! Anyway, I still wanted to take a minute to update from my OB appointment on Friday. I am officially on a weekly schedule to see the OB, so you will start to get more frequent updates...maybe! ;o)

Like I said before, I don't have to see the cardiologist until Baby Brother arrives. At that point the medical team from duPont in Wilmington will come to Harrisburg and care for Baby Brother, then transport him. So I will only be seeing my OB from now on. He says that a lot can happen in a week, so he needs to see me more often. That's fine.

This Friday was my first Fetal Stress Test. I was hooked up to the monitors for a half hour to record Baby's heart rate and movement patterns. Plus, it recorded any contractions I was having. Baby Brother was to move 2 times every 10 minutes...he definitley did that! He wasn't still much at all. His heart rate fluctuated perfectly according to his movements. His heart rate ranged from 117 to 162. I also had another ultrasound, however, it was only long enough to measure amniotic fluid...which was normal.

I will be having a Fetal Stress Test, weekly from now on. Plus regular ultrasounds every other visit, to measure Baby Brother. I am looking forward to my next appointment...I'm curious to find out how much he has grown...considering my belly is HUGE!

Should LIFE be a choice?

2008-11-02T08:23:00.000-05:00

A rather akward title for this post, considering the topic for my blog...I know. I just wanted to share with you one thing I experience every Friday when I go to my Doctor appointments.

The OB that I go to is in a medical center attached to the Hospital. They are Specialists and the majority of their patients are high risk for whatever reason...these parents and doctors are fighting for the lives of the babies. Ironically, only less than 2 blocks away, there is a Women's clinic that performs abortions. Every Friday we go to the doctor, and every time we pass a group of young women, barely of age to vote, picketting and fighting for the right to have an abortion. It's very disturbing and angering. Even more than that, it breaks my heart to know that as I fight for Baby Brother's life, someone else is out there fighting to end a life.

Psalms 139:13-14

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Week 33

2008-10-24T15:26:00.000-04:00

I saw the cardiologist for the last time today. Actually, the last time until Baby is born. The appointment went very well and rather quickly. We had our last prenatal echocardiogram, which only lasted about a half hour. The doctor reviewed everything and was very pleased with what he saw. Baby's heart is very strong and growing well. We have made it passed the "dangerous" phase and now we are just waiting for Baby's arrival.

I go back to Harrisburg next Friday for another routine prenatal exam.

I didn't get measurements or weights today, only a heart rate, which varied every time they checked it. It ranged from lowest at 121 to highest of 139.

30 Weeks!!

2008-10-22T13:29:00.000-04:00

This picture is from 3 weeks ago...at my 30 week point. But, better late than never...right!?!

Try to ignore my goofy expression. Honey was being silly while taking the picture, so I joined in the fun and made the goofy face. Actually, this picture is the best one of the 4 he took.

October 15, 2008

2008-10-17T07:23:00.000-04:00

Today, I am officially 32 weeks! I had my 32 week check up today. I got to meet one of the other doctors in the practice today. So far I've only met 3 of them, and there are still more that I still haven't met. I am finally starting to get comfortable with the idea of going to a new OB. However, meeting a new doctor yesterday really made me miss my old doctors in Chambersburg. Oh well.

My appointment was very routine...and Baby was doing just fine. They did an ultrasound to check his growth. They seemed to be rather rushed, so they didn't go over any of his measurements with me. All I know is that he measured to the 32 weeks and his heart rate was 130.

We took a quick tour of NICU and the Labor/Deliver Unit at the Hospital. I was very surprised at how nice it was. Being the first time delivering at this hospital, I wasn't sure what to expect. But the rooms are very nice. We got to know what to expect when Baby is born. It wasn't really anything new, other than, they basically are going to be rushing us through Labor/Deliver process so that we can be transfered to duPont right away. As soon as Baby is born he will be given some IV's and I will get to hold him for a few minutes. Then he will be taken to the NICU for further assessment. Once he is taken to NICU, then I will get to go sit with him. We won't be in Harrisburg very long, well at least Baby won't be. Once he is stablized and ready for transport, he will be taken to duPont and placed in their NICU until I arrive. This is all information we already knew, but walking through the process with the nurses just seemed to make the process even more real. While in the NICU, we saw a baby that was born at 25 weeks and weighed only 1 pound. He had a twin who was also in the NICU. He was so tiny, and fragile looking...definitely an image I will never forget!

I go back to Harrisburg next Friday for my last appointment with the Cardiologist. I will be having one last echocardiogram before baby is born. We won't see the cardiologist again til Baby is born, and he will have an echocardiogram then.

I hope to post pictures soon...so check back to see Baby's updated 4D picture. And of course, my belly, (which I think cannot grow anymore!). :o)

Another Update...

2008-10-08T07:35:00.000-04:00

In keeping with the purpose of this blog...I figured it was high time I shared about my last OB appointment.

The blood work turned out fine! I saw my OB on September 26th, who seemed pleased with how things were going. I am officially back to my starting weight, or pre-pregnancy weight. I actually lost about 12 lbs in the first trimester, then very slowly gained it back. They did a "growth scan" to check the baby's size. This is nothing more than an ultrasound...he weighed about 2 lbs 11 ozs. and his heart rate was 148. The lab tech had trouble getting some of the measurements, Baby didn't really want to cooperate so much.

We also saw Baby's cardiologist for an updated echocardiograhm. It went ok. The Cardiologist said there was very little to no change in the appearance of Baby's heart. He definitely didn't change his diagnosis.

I go back on October 15th to see the OB...and I see the cardiologist on October 24th. That will be the last time we see the cardiologist until Baby is born.

Be praying...we know God has amazing things instore for Baby Brother!

Blood work, yuck!

2008-09-22T17:53:00.000-04:00

My OB in Harrisburg has been asking me to get some blood work done. I finally did it...today was the day I've been dreading! I had 5 tubes of blood drawn, one of which was for the glucose test. Yes, I had to drink the dreaded "orange soda".

But, as much as I tried to avoid the tests, I survived...

Baby...an official introduction!!

2008-09-09T08:16:00.000-04:00

I got this great shot printed at my last OB appointment. I figured it was time to actually show off our handsome little man!

This ultrasound was done at 26 weeks and 2 days!

(August 29th)

A. I. duPont Children's Hospital

2008-09-08T10:57:00.001-04:00

This past weekend we had an appointment for our "Family Session" at the duPont Children's Hospital in Wilmington Delaware. We met the surgeon who will be doing Baby's open heart surgery and took a tour of the Cardiac Unit.

Originally, we planned on staying in Wilmington/Philadelphia area for the night. Mainly because we were expecting this to be a very overwhelming visit. I didn't expect the visit to go well, mainly because of how my appointments went in Harrisburg. The appointment didn't go anything like I had thought it would.

The surgeon knew all about us, before we arrived. He actually took the time to study our chart, which made the visit way more personal. We spoke with him about the actual procedure and what to expect. We also got to meet some of his staff. We were impressed with how friendly and sincere everyone was. You could definitely tell they were passionate about their jobs. We met Judy, the social worker, who would be handling our case. She was very excited to meet us face to face. She said that Dr. Robinson had already told her all about us! She was a wonderful lady...she showed us around the cardiac unit, operating room, and living areas.

The entire appointment took a little less than 2 hours. When we left, Honey and I both felt a huge relief, like a weight had been lifted from our backs. We were both very nervous about how the day would go. But, after this visit, we both felt very comfortable with the doctors and staff that will be caring for Baby.

The only time I got a bit emotional was when we walked through the Cardiac ICU and there were two tiny babies laying in cribs with monitors and stuff attached to them. They each had a nurse sitting by them...and no parents around...anywhere. It broke my heart to see such a tiny baby, post surgery, with only a stranger there to comfort them.

25 weeks!

2008-09-01T17:29:00.001-04:00

About 2 weeks ago, I had a dream. And, in my dream I was having a conversation with God. He was telling me that I was to have an ultrasound at my next prenatal visit. The conversation went like this:

God: You need to have an ultrasound at your next doctor visit.

Me: Why, I just had one a few weeks ago? I would rather not do it again, yet.

God: You need to have an ultrasound...request one if you need to.

Me: Fine, I'll do it. But why is it so necessary already.

God: I have something to show you!

When I woke up the next morning, I shared my conversation with Honey. He said we would do whatever was necessary to have that ultrasound.

Friday August 29th we were driving to Harrisburg to see the OB, and for the first time I felt a peacefulness about going. For the first time I didn't cry the entire drive there.

The visit went fine, it was a routine exam just like I expected. Before I left the doctor came into the room and said he wanted to do an updated ultrasound to check Baby's growth.

During the ultrasound, the technician was measuring Baby's arms, legs, belly, and head. She also checked the umbilical cord & its blood flow. She saved his heart for last. When she got a good angle of his heart, she took the required measurements then just looked at the pictures with a puzzled look on her face. She then asked us if we were sure the baby's diagnosis was HLHS. When we told her yes, she continued taking measurements. When we saw the pictures of Baby's heart we could see all four functioning chambers and the two on the left were almost the same size as the right! The smaller left chambers were obviously growing!!

Baby weighs: about 1 lb 10 ozs

Next appointment: September 26, with the cardiologist

We have no official heart measurements, or a report from the cardiologist at this point. But, it was clear to us just what it was that God wanted us to see in that ultrasound.

This blog has a purpose.

2008-08-30T11:55:00.000-04:00

I started to write my post about my appointment on Friday, but I wanted to go back a bit and rewind.

Honey said to me the other day (as if this was a new idea), that we need to be journaling our experiences and keep track of Baby's progress through out this pregnancy. Of course I told him I already had that taken care of.

Honey and I have been through a lot in our 8 years of marriage and our years before that as singles. With that said, we have grown tremendous amounts, and God has blessed both of us with amazing spiritual gifts. We decided when Baby was diagnosed with HLHS, we were not going to allow that to hold us back. Baby is a huge blessing to us already, in so many ways, and we felt honored that God chose us to be his earthly parents.

With all that said, I am blogging our experiences through this pregnancy and will probably continue for a while after Baby is born. Our goal is that whoever reads this will be blessed in one way or another.

the burn

2008-08-25T19:39:00.000-04:00

Well, the past week has been pretty uneventful as far as Baby is concerned. But, I figured I'd post something, just to let you all know I'm still here.

Baby has been kicking like crazy...to the point that he wakes me up at night.

So, I burned my belly last wednesday. I know that sounds really dumb. But the story gets worse...I was cooking ground meat to make sloppy joes for a picnic. I poured a little bit of water in the pan to let it simmer and forgot to turn down my burner. Needless to say, it splattered out and soaked through my shirt onto my skin and left a quarter-sized blister on my already sensitive belly. Ouch!!

On another note, we go back to Harrisburg on Friday to see the doctor. It is supposed to be just a simple routine check...but we'll see!

Because I know you're curious

2008-08-18T17:00:00.001-04:00

I figured I should add a picture of me and Baby! Well, what you can see of baby so far...

This picture was taken at 21 weeks.

21 weeks...August 1, 2008

2008-08-14T17:19:00.000-04:00

Honey & I were now on our way to meet with Baby's cardiologist.

I had an hour long ultrasound with an Echocardiogram. Dr. Robinson (the cardiologist) took pictures of every possible angle of Baby's heart, plus monitored blood flow and the heartbeat. When we arrived for our appointment, we were expecting to see Baby's heart with full sized right chambers and underdeveloped (small) left chambers that may or may not have blood flow. At the previous appointment the doctor and sonographer didn't take any measurements of Baby's heart...they weren't of significant size.

We spent the past week in prayer...and I mean PRAYER!
We had friends & family in PA, MD and NJ praying for Baby.

Anyway, my point is...DON'T STOP PRAYING...IT CHANGES THINGS!

After our ultrasound, we met with Dr. Robinson to discuss what he found. He was able to measure the left 2 chambers of the heart, and chart accurate blood flow. Baby's heart was fully functioning - properly! PRAISE GOD

The problem was that the left side still wasn't big enough to be sustainable after delivery. Baby would still need open heart surgery...but not immediately after he is born. I was now told I would be able to naturally deliver Baby in Harrisburg, but he would need to be transported to Dupont with in 4-6 hours to be prepped for surgery.

The FACTS:

*Baby was diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS)

* Harrisburg Hospital specializes in babies with Congenital Heart Disease, however only 1% of those cases are diagnosed with HLHS

* The left chambers of Baby's heart measured to 50% of the size of the right chambers!

Last week, they were too small to measure and didn't have adequate blood flow.

Floods of emotion

2008-08-14T17:09:00.000-04:00

Pregnancy naturally involves so many quick changing waves of emotion.

Now throw in the news we just received about our tiny baby boy. I don't even think overwhelmed is the right word to describe how I was feeling. I cried the entire hour drive home from Harrisburg, and even cried part way through my lunch at Applebee's.

My afternoon consisted of more tears and lots of sleep. Was this a terrible dream? I forced my self to sleep, in hopes that when I woke up Honey would tell me this was a dream.

- It wasn't.

We were scheduled to see the Neonatal Cardiologist on Friday August 1st.

20 weeks..continued!

2008-08-14T16:47:00.001-04:00

Wednesday July 23, we received a call from the OB stating that we would need to see a Neonatal Cardiologist. The Doctor and Radiologist found that Baby had a heart abnormality. The left two chambers of his heart were not visible on any of the ultrasound pictures.

We were then referred to a OB Specialist in Harrisburg, PA...and were to see them the next day.

I automatically assumed the worst, who wouldn't have.

I immediately thought back to early January when I miscarried, and had to have a D & E due to "absent cardiac activity".

Thursday July 24, 2008 we went to Harrisburg for our appointment with the specialist. We (I) endured 2 hours of ultrasounds with 2 doctors, 1 intern, 1 Cardiac Sonographer and a Ultrasound Technician.

Before going into this appointment, Honey & I prayed...for our own strength to endure whatever news we would get, and to show us a small miracle.

During the appointment, the doctors and techs were able to find the left chambers of Baby's heart. They were very small and there wasn't really any blood flowing through the left side...it was just there. Half way through the appointment we were given a break and Honey & I were left alone in the exam room. We prayed again, and prepared ourselves for the rest of the exam.
By the end of the ultrasound the Doctor was able to find the left side of Baby's heart, with proper blood flow. Baby's heart was functioning properly. It was our sign...our hope and encouragement!

The Doctor suggested that we come back in a week to speak to the Cardiologist to get an official diagnosis and discuss treatment options. When we left the appointment, we were told that I would have to deliver Baby at Dupont Children's Hospital, where he could be immediately prepped for Open Heart Surgery as soon as he was born. This condition was very severe and very rare, and only a few hospitals on the east coast perform the procedure that Baby would need.