In Loving Memory...

Todd Heston Martin

born: December 5, 2008

died: December 29, 2008

I can hardly believe that two years have passed since we celebrated the life and death of Baby Todd. Everyone who has ever experienced the loss of a loved one will say that those anniversaries get easier with each passing year. While I tend to agree and believe that one day it will get easier; I'm not completely there yet. My heart still hurts a little, and I miss him more than anyone could ever know.

We love and miss you Baby Todd...and look forward to the day when we will see you again!

4 Months!

Paisley turned 4 months old this past Saturday, the 18th. We spent the day with Dustin's family to celebrate Christmas. I will post about that later.

Anyway...Paisley had her 4 month check up with the pediatrician this past Monday. As always, it went well, and the Doctor was very pleased with her. I was completely surprised by her weight...only 14 pounds 2 ounces. I was expecting her to weigh more than that. She did very good with her shots as well. Only a few tears were shed this time around!

**All ready to go see the Pediatrician!!

As of Monday December 20th, Paisley

weight: 14 lbs 2 ozs.

height: 25 in.

Paisley has also mastered the art of rolling over. She has rolled over before, but not consistantly or intentionally. We have had fun watching her roll. She gets excited & giggles every time as if it's her first time all over again! She is playing with toys more and more, and is able to recognize her baby doll.

We have started feeding her cereal...with a spoon. She is enjoying the cereal, but not the spoon so much. She tries to slurp the cereal from the spoon, which is quite cute! I think she would rather continue with the bottle, it's much faster! She doesn't like anything getting between her & her food.

It has been such a blessing to have Paisley in our family. We are enjoying every minute with her, and are looking forward to celebrating her first Christmas!

Happy 2nd Birthday!

Today we celebrate Todd's 2nd birthday...not with cards, gifts or cake...but with 24 balloons & lots of memories.

Todd...on his Birthday - December 5. 2008

This morning, we released 24 balloons in memory of Baby Todd. One balloon to represent each precious day we were blessed to spend with him. Tags were attached to each balloon, in hopes that they would eventually be found.

I was praying for clear skies for our balloon release. However when I woke up this morning the clouds were thick and low, with snow flurries, very similiar to the weather last year on Todd's birthday.

If you found one of Todd's balloons please leave a comment here on the blog. We would like to hear where all the balloons were found.

If this is your first time visiting the blog, feel free to go back and read previous posts to get Todd's complete story.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY TODD!!

For more pictures from our balloon release, click HERE!

Happy Thanksgiving!

The turkey is in the oven, the sweet potatoes are mashed, and the bread dough is rising. The Parade is on in the living room, and much to Dustin's dismay...the Christmas music is playing in the kitchen. Yes, I know I am going all out for 4 people, and our families are getting together on Saturday. And, really I wouldn't have to do this. BUT...there is just something special about having a turkey in the oven on Thanksgiving day. Oh how I love the sounds and smells of the Holiday. Especially Thanksgiving.

This is my favorite time of year...Fall & Thanksgiving. However, I almost despise the holiday as well. It seems that Thanksgiving and Christmas have become such "materialistic" days, that we lose sight of what the days truely represent. I have already lost count of how many times I've heard Kadenn say "I'm bored". She desperately wanted me to entertain her. She couldn't sit still long enough to watch the parade. I guess that just goes to show that we have so much and do so much. When we have time to sit and relax and appreciate our blessings...we don't know how. It made me a bit sad. I gave her a project, and asked her to list 7 things she is thankful for(since she's 7 years old). We are all going to share our lists with each other at lunch.

Here are a few things I'm thankful for today (and everyday!!)

• My family
• My children & husband
• My Faith in Jesus Christ!
• Church family
• A warm home
• safety and good health
• reliable vehicles
• Dustin's job

...and the list goes on!

Blessings to you all this holiday season!

3 months!

Paisley is officially 3 months old

...and is growing and changing by leaps and bounds.

She doesn't see the doctor for another month, so I don't have her official measurements...but, I am certain she has gained 3 or 4 pounds! She is now starting to wear some 3-6 month size clothes; which really saddens me to see the stack of 'outgrown' clothes getting bigger and bigger.

Paisley loves to lay on the floor to play and kick. She is working so hard at rolling over, but hasn't quite made it yet. She also has figured out she has a tongue...which just adds to the crazy amounts of drool.

Sleep: As of the last week or so, she has started going to bed between 7:30 and 8pm. (If we're home...) Typically she'll sleep til 6am. I know...still can't believe that my self. She hasn't been napping much through out the day, which makes the long stretch at night much easier.

Good bye 4am!

My baby is growing...I know, It's inevitable. But, does it have to happen so fast??

As of the last week, Paisley is now sleeping til 6am. So, no more 4am feedings. As much as I enjoy sleeping with out interruption, I truly did enjoy our early morning snuggle time in the recliner.

Oh, and as for that snuggle time...I think it will soon be a thing of the past. We have noticed that the more we try to cuddle & rock Paisley at night, the more she fights going to sleep. On the nights that we feed her & put her to bed, it seems she falls right to sleep.

She did alot of this today...

I know...not too exciting. But I guess today she realized that her fist was good for more than just sucking on.

A new song on the playlist!

I added a new song to the playlist! If it isn't playing yet, go to the playlist on the side-bar & click on it... "There will be a day" by Jeremy Camp.

Here are the Lyrics...I love these words and pray you gain encouragement from them!

There Will Be A Day

Songwriters: Camp, Jeremy Thomas

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have

But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab

The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth

That we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings

That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears

No more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place

Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

But until that day, we'll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long

You feel you're walking on your own

But there has never been a step

Where you've walked out all alone

Troubled soul don't lose your heart

Cause joy and peace he brings

And the beauty that's in store

Outweighs the hurt of life's sting

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings

That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears

No more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place

Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

But until that day, we'll hold on to you always

I can't wait until that day where the very one

I've lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I've faced

To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery

O, this is why, this is why I sing

There will be a day with no more tears

No more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place

Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day with no more tears

No more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place

Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day he will wipe away the tears

He will wipe away the tears

He will wipe away the tears

There will be a day

Ronald McDonald House

This week, I was able to schedule our visit to the Ronald McDonald House in Delaware. We are looking forward to being able to prepare a meal and visit with some of the guest families.

We will be preparing Breakfast at the House on Sunday January 2, 2011.

Our family will be collecting food & household items to take to the house, to help fill their pantry. If you would like to help in any way, please contact us. Click here for a direct link to the RMH wish list.

2 Months

It is so hard to believe that Paisley is now 2 months old. Which means that it has been that long since I wrote anything on the blog. Sorry for the lack of update...but in my defense, I've been busy spending all my time with a certain "little one".

Today, October 20th, I took Paisley for her 2 month well child check with the pediatrician. She is growing like a weed! The doctor & nurses absolutely LOVE her, but how could they not, right!? ;o)

*leaving for our visit with the Pediatrician*

She had to get 3 shots...which was expected. Yet, didn't make it any easier to watch her little lip quiver with sadness and pain. She moved on from that pretty quick though, when I scooped her up to cuddle after the nurse was done.

Here are her stats as of her 2 Month appointment:

height: 22.5 inches

weight: 11 lbs 10 ozs

She is now drinking about 6 ozs per feeding & sleeping 6-7 hours at night. We're spoiled, I know! She is easily entertained and loves to laugh & smile.

Happy Birth - Day!!

Paisley Grace

was born...

on Wednesday August, 18 2010 at 10:18am

weighing in at 8 lbs 2.2 ozs

Let the count down begin!

Today I hit the 38 week mark!

Everything is going well, in terms of the pregnancy & our health. However, my patience has expired! I am stretched, literally, just about as far as I can handle. My bag is packed, the baby's room is ready, her clothes & blankets have been washed...we're just waiting for her to arive!

The anticipation gets stronger every day...

I did end up having to spend about 2 hours at the hospital yesterday for a Non-stress test. Thanks to a mis-reading of my blood pressure during my Dr visit. But, as we keep telling ourselves...better be safe than sorry. Even though I knew in my gut that nothing was wrong.

After being connected to the monitors for an hour and a half, and having blood work done, it was confirmed that it was just probably a mis-read of my blood pressure. I was told to go home & continue waiting...

So - here I am, at home...waiting!!

This picture is from 2 weeks ago...Dustin's brother got married!

A Husbands Prespective

Time is nearing on the arrival of our little girl, but first I would like to share some memories.......

After the 'change of our lives', a question was often asked.. "Are you going to have another baby?" We would respond with ''Maybe, if that is Gods plan for us.'' We did want a baby, but we didn't want to try to 'replace' baby brother. So, we left it in Gods hands and here we are expecting.

Then we were asked ''Do you hope its a boy?'' We would say ''We just want a healthy baby." A boy would be nice but might feel like a replacement...A girl would be a great blessing, because they are so beautiful. When we found out 'it' was a girl we were at peace and concider her an addition to the family not a replacement. Now I just hope God provides another bathroom for the house!

About 4-5 months into the pregnacy, we decided we should start to organize the baby's room. This was the 'keep out' room that was full of memories and we would not dare to go into alone. So, Jerri and I started into it a little at a time. This took many days, because we would usually end up laying on the floor talking and crying together as the memories would flow.

One day we were going through the clothes in the dresser and Jerri broke down. I thought she got kicked or something, but then she showed me what she found. Knowing Todd was going to need surgery we were encouged to get shirts that snapped open in the front. The months leading up to the birth of Todd that was our mission. If any of you have shopped for baby clothes before, know that these can be hard to find. We had a drawer full of this special clothing. Finding them hit a very tender spot and the tears began to flow, again.

A couple of weeks later, we were well on our way with the baby's room, I came into the kitchen and Jerri had just came down the stairs. She had tears in her eyes and I knew where she had been, the baby's room. I asked her what she found this time and she said nothing with a tear in her eye. ''What is wrong then'' I asked. She responded with a twinkle I haven't seen in a long time"We are going to get to bring home a baby!" Thats when it hit me...these are tears of joy, not of sorrow...she was ready to move on. The tears began to flow, yet again.

There is always giong to be a tender spot in our hearts that will never be replaced, however by the grace of God there is room for one more.

34 weeks and a mini vacation!

Friday, was my 34 week ultrasound...things continue to go well. Baby is growing like a weed!

According to the ultrasound measurements, they estimate she currently weighs 5 lbs 9 ozs. and is measuring in the 60 percentile. I am gearing up for a big baby!!

Sunday, started Dustin's vacation from UPS. We didn't want to take a big vacation in the middle of what could be a busy hay season...so, we scheduled a quick mini get away.

We spent 2 days on Chincoteague Island...

The girls enjoyed the beach, and LOVED the pool! Go figure...

We toured the Assateague Lighthouse. Dustin & the girls climbed to the top! I, on the otherhand, sat in the truck with the A/C on!
We toured the visitors centers to learn the history of the Islands, played mini-golf, ate some good food & of course got in a little shopping too!

32 weeks

Just a quick update...

I had a routine doctor appointment today. Kadenn went along this time. This was her first experience getting to "check on the baby", so she was very excited!

The baby's heartbeat was in the 14o's, it was a bit hard to hear at times because Baby can NOT stay still. The doctor was very pleased though, with how things are going thus far. I am down to 7 weeks and 3 days til my due date...and YES, I am counting down!

I also found out today that I can take Benedryl! I know, not a big deal to the majority of the world. And, being able to take Benedryl while pregnant is probably old news. but here's the deal...

I avoid taking medicine like the plague. So I didn't make it a point to learn what meds I can and can't take. Anyway, on to my point.

I haven't been sleeping...at all! Maybe 2 hours a night, 3 or 4 if I'm lucky. I don't even nap during the day. I'm sure you can only imagine how that must make me feel. So, knowing that it is okay for me to take Benedryl is a good thing! I am so looking forward to going to sleep tonight!

I Will Praise You in This Storm

I have gone back and forth for the last few days, trying to decide whether or not I would share this story on the blog. It has been almost 2 years, since our lives have become an open book, and we called on our friends, family, and blog readers to become prayer warriors with us.

Yes, from time to time I relish the thought of "privacy", but then God reminds me that each of us have been given a testimony, if you will, and if we don't use it to minister to others we are hindering God's power. I guess you could look at it like the Parable of the talents, and what will you do with God's gift?

For those of you that have been faithfully reading the blog for a while now, know that if you leave the page loaded long enough, you will here Casting Crown's song: Praise You in this Storm. That is just one of several songs that hold special meaning to our family. In our house we refer to the songs on the blog as "Todd's songs". I don't listen to them often any more, for several reasons...

Last week, I was putting a few things away in the closet, in the Baby Todd's room. Which, has now been transformed to the new Baby Sister's room. However, most of Baby Todd's things are packed in the closet, including the bags of cards and gifts we brought home from DuPont. They haven't been touched or sorted through yet, just put in the closet for now. Anyway, I was putting some things away in the closet just like I've done hundreds of times before. Only for some reason, this time was different. As I'm sitting there, I suddenly heard the song Praise You in this Storm start playing. I had no idea where it was coming from. After some delay I realized it was coming from one of the "DuPont Bags", and I instantly started digging, and crying. The faster I dug for whatever was playing this music, the faster the tears flowed. It was now to the point that I could no longer see what I was digging for. I just had to stop that music. Finally, I gave up and said "okay God, you have my attention..."

A musical card, in one of the bags, turned out to be the culprit. Still not sure what made it start to play music, I never touched the bag at all.

I shared what had happened with Dustin, but neither of us really said much about the experience. Later that night, as I lay in bed (unable to sleep, as usual), I began to pray about it. I really wanted to know what God was trying say, no matter how painful it might be. The one thing I kept hearing Him say over and over again was,

"Your storm isn't over...so, why did you stop praising Me?"

Yikes, did I hear that clearly? Yes, I did. Loud and clear, several times. What I realized at that moment is, that storms come and go. Some take a while to pass and others move in and out quickly and very unexpectedly. The same is true with our spiritual storms as well. I have no idea what my storm is right now, and I have no idea where God is taking me next. But what I do know is that storm I'm facing or about to face, won't seem so big while I'm praising God!

From the very beginning, when we asked you all to become prayer warriors with us, we began praying for you too. We don't know who you are, or what your storms are, but we pray for you. My prayer for you (our blog readers) now, is that no matter what storm you are weathering at the moment, you will be able to find a way to continue to praise Him!

28 weeks (almost 29) and counting...

I know, it's probably a bit soon to start the count down...

...but: It's summer - which means it will get crazy hot real soon. And, I'm feeling huge! Doesn't make for a good combination or a happy pregnant mama...

anyway, moving on to a few updates:

• Starting this week, I will be seeing the Doctor every other week. Because of my 'history' they are hoping to find a 'problem' with either me or the baby. Encouraging, huh!?!
• This coming Friday (June 4th) I have dedicated to the Lab...I'll be enduring the 3 hour glucose tolerance test. Yes, the one I thought I got out of 2 weeks ago!
• Starting at 32 weeks (4 weeks from now) I will start having weekly NST's. (Non-stress tests) - to monitor Baby's movement & my contractions.
• I have one more ultrasound scheduled for July. Currently Baby is measuring in the 6oth percentile. Which, according to the doctor, is average.
• The nursery is well underway. Just a few more things to take care of, and her room will be all set!

These are a few shots of the Princess, taken at 26 weeks!

I still find it funny and exciting to see how God answers our prayers. Yes, even the small things matter to Him...and I love that!

Yesterday was my 26 week appointment with the Baby Doctor. Technically though, I am 26 weeks and 5 days. Anyway, I was also to have the dreaded Glucose Tolerance Test yesterday, as well. Now, any of you who have had this test, know what I am talking about. It's not a big deal, but that stuff they make you drink is just plain disgusting. Originally, I was told that I would have the 3+ hour version of this test. Which means I drink the juice then have blood drawn 3 or 4 times in hourly intervals. I am not a patient person & Dustin was in meetings at work, so I was in this by myself.

As it turned out...I didn't have to do the 3 hour version at all. So thank you for answering my prayers!!

On another note, everything with the little "Princess" is going just fine. The doctors are very pleased with me (us).

Starting with my next appointment, I will start having appointments every 2 weeks. Seems soon, I know. BUT, they have told me that because of my history, they are looking for something to go wrong. So, the more often they see me, the more likely they are to find "something". It wasn't very encouraging to hear that, even though I already knew this in the back of my mind. So, if you could please be praying for me in the area of patience...that would be great and much appreciated. I am not a patient person, so 3 more months of waiting for baby to arrive, plus, extra doctor visits just make me a bit crazy!

New Look!

As you notice, I have made a change to the look of the blog. This isn't a mistake, I just thought it was time for something different...maybe a bit more girly!

Ooops...it looks like I may have lost some of the links that were on the right column. I'll hopefully have them up again soon!

Jerri

Finally, 9 months in the waiting!

It has been almost 9 months of waiting...both painfully and patiently! But, we finally got the call last Thursday, that Baby Todd's gravestone was being installed.

We took the girls by the church's cemetary the following Saturday to see it.

After all the wait, we were very pleased with how it turned out. As painful as it was, it was definitely worth the wait!

It's nothing fancy...but, being the "farming, outdoorsy" family that we are...we wanted it to look like a rock that was dug up on the farm. Or, something you would see hiking in the mountains.

We've been wanting to go back and take flowers to dress things up a bit. However, Kylei had the bright idea of buying some bulbs to plant next to the stone. So, this weekend we will be buying some bulbs for Baby Todd.

22 weeks

I know...I'm a bit behind on updating everyone. And, by now, I'm sure most of you have already heard...

We are having

a GIRL!!

Yes, you heard/read correctly...a GIRL!

Yes, we already have a name picked. Not sure about the middle name, but we do have a first name.

NO...we won't be telling you what it is!! :) The name shall remain TOP SECRET for a few more months. However, you are more than welcome to try and figure it out. Leave your guess in a comment. We will definitely enjoy reading through everyone's "guesses".

Moving on...

I did see the specialist in Harrisburg on March 31st. It was a very bittersweet visit. I was so happy to see some very special nurses & doctors. Yet, very sad that I was "back at the specialist".

I had a Level 2 ultrasound, which included very detailed pictures and measurements of the baby's legs, arms, head and organs.

She is amazingly cute, with a little button nose...and healthy!

Both the ultrasound tech and the doctor gave us a clean bill of health. Praise the Lord!!

They did recommend that I have a few more ultrasounds, which aren't really a big deal. Honestly, I am okay with a few more ultrasounds. I kind of like getting to see the baby!

Other than that, we are just hanging out until August!

We did bring home a few pictures, unfortunately she didn't cooperate real well. So they aren't the greatest. Hopefully next time I'll get some good shots and be able to introduce her to the blog world!

18 weeks 5 days

I had my 18/19 week check up today. It was a very quick appointment. But then again, I guess that's not a bad thing necessarily. I saw a new doctor today. I had no idea she was even part of the practice, nor could I remember her name.

Anyway, on to more important things...

They only did the usual belly measurement & listened to the heart beat.

Heart rate was in the 150's.

This picture was taken Sunday, before we left for church. I'm not really sure what for angle Dustin was going for...but it makes me look a smidge bigger than I really am. At least, I think so! :)

Rumors...

Rumor has it, that there will be a new member of the Martin family, coming soon!

Well, here it is...the word, straight from the horses mouth. So to speak!

It's true! We're EXPECTING!!

The official due date is August 21, 2010 which means I am almost at 18 weeks.

Just to fill you in on what has taken place so far...

We found out there was going to be a new baby, on Christmas Eve!! Yes, what an amazing Christmas Gift! I wanted to wrap the pregnancy test & give it to Dustin as a gift, but couldn't keep it a secret for more than an hour.

February 16th - I finally got in to see the doctor. We had to wait a bit longer due to some changes in our insurance. But, that's all good now.

February 19th - I had an ultrasound to confirm my due date. The heartbeat was strong and steady. Baby moved quite a bit. This is also the day we told the girls, and our parents. The girls are ecstatic, by the way!!

February 24th - Another appointment with the Doctor. Basically to review the ultrasound and listen to the heartbeat again. The heartbeat at this appointment was 154/160. According to the Doctor, at this appointment, I was 14 1/2 weeks which makes my due date August 21st. She also said the ultrasound looked good, however, it was too soon to see everything.

February 24th - BLOOD WORK!! Yuck...

Not a great picture...This one was taken @ 16 weeks!

March 24th - My next appointment with my regular OB. I will be having my 20 week ultrasound with my neonatologist in Harrisburg on Wednesday March 31st. At this point, I am not going to the specialist because of any concerns. We are just being cautious. Plus, with their ultrasound equipment, we will get a much more detailed result.

I am hoping to get some good pictures at that appointment, so hopefully I can introduce you to the new baby boy OR girl really soon!! Also, in another post, I hope to answer some of the many questions I have been asked lately & update you on how I've been feeling so far!

RMH Update!

I am finally getting around to updating about our recent trip to the RMH.

January 2, 2010 we traveled to the RMH in Delaware, to prepare a meal for about 30 families, that were staying at the house. I have prepared meals for large groups before, but to be honest 70 or more guests just sounded a bit overwhelming. Dustin & I decided to recruit some help for the evening. Once we were there cooking, we were definitely glad we did! THANK YOU to our helpers...you all are amazing!

We prepared 7 "baked spaghetti" caseroles with garlic bread, green beans, fruit salad, and cookies. We also took another box of items (food and house supplies) that were donated by our friends and family.

When we arrived at the RMH, the volunteer allowed us to use the staff entrance to the kitchen. One of the first things that caught my eye was this:

10 tubs FULL (and over-flowing) of soda can tabs!

Ever since we stayed at the RMH the first time, we have been saving our soda tabs. It doesn't seem like much, but the tabs obviously add up!

Click HERE to learn more about the RMH soda tab donations!

I can't begin to describe how much of a blessing it was to be able to prepare food and share our time with the families at the RMH. Thanks so much to everyone who helped make this experience possible!!